Im the kind of person who are not willing to be patient when I want something. I don't like waiting, therefore if I can get it on my own, I will do it myself. Thing is most things are related to another person. Therefore, all I can do is wait.











Oh shush! Enough with the hints! Come see me already. You'll be leaving on the 6th!

I wrote this a week back. Its just starting. In the earliest of getting to know stage, therefore I dont want to jinx it. I still think I may jinx it by posting this but here goes.

1. I use to like you in form 4, but I remembered you differently. (Milly you dont know about this okay, I never told you because its just in the passing)
2. Its so easy to talk to you even though I last saw you 2 years back.
3. I use to see you every night but never actually talk to you.
4. I like it that you are not a flirt.
5. im expecting something to happen with you.
6. I want you to ask for my number.
7. I WANT YOUR NUMBER! (got it! hehehe)
8. You make my face light up when we chat.
9. I think Im starting to like you.
10. I dont have THE FEELING yet, but there is something.
11. (confidential)
12. I want to talk to you when I got nothing to do.
13. I have the urge to ask you out.
14. I want to get to know you.
    
15. I tried picturing you with my Usuals, Timahmates and my family, you fit!
16. Im hoping for you.
17. The letter Z in your name appeals to me.
18. You seem impress with petty things about me.
19. I am attracted to little things about you.
20. I can list 20 things about you even before I met you.

As usual, he is a friend of friends. I dont make friends on my own remember? He's not from the clique from college though, THANK GOD! I want to see how it goes, if its working out..Alhamdulillah. Not going to push it. Let it be slow and steady. Takut jugak sebenarnya.

Dulu aku dengan panas hati pernah tulis ni untuk kau. Sumpah! Kali ni aku rasa nak keluarkan entri panjang maki kau lagi. Naseb kau baik, kau tak buat taik kali kedua dengan aku. Nasib tak baik kau, kau buat taik dengan orang yang capable for finer revenge. For that, I wish you good luck.

Serious weh, setan apa dah masuk badan kau? Aku tak sangka teruk camni dah kau. Aku yang kesian dan sedih bila tengok senang-senang orang rosakkan diri. Padahal orang tu takde rasa nak selamatkan diri sendiri pun.

Kenapa 2 orang yang pernah aku rapat, pernah kenal sebagai orang yang memang sembah Allah (literally) tiba-tiba berubah 90 darjah?

Mungkin akan keluar alasan macam-macam kalau ditanya, tapi pada aku.. Betullah lelaki memang tunduk pada satu nafsu, perempuan.

We reached Subang at 6 pm to an unopened counter for Kuantan flight. Since the place is as dull as the colour pink, we wait. There are a few eatery like 1901, Big Apple, Butler's and Starbucks. Other than banks and a few gift store, Nada! Boringggg!!

So when 2 fat kids gather, what else to do? We eat. Hahaha first at Big Apple then at 1901.
After checking in at 6.30, we continued waiting outside the gate. Had an incident with the custom guy (tahpape je) and substitute the garbage bin as a tripod to take photos!!

I slept all the way to Kuantan. It was a 45 minutes flight. Terlalu sekejap, tak panas buntut pun. Fun though =)

Im taking the firefly flight to Kuantan tomorrow evening. With Ya! Yay!!! Okay separa loser sebab we both are excited nak naik flight. Haven't been on a plane since New Zealand trip at 14. Bahahahahah!

And first time we are allowed on our own. Ngehehe.

Waaahh cuti ni memang cuti-cuti Kuantan. Balik kampung pun jadilah. Berjalan gak.

Actually, taknak balik Kuantan dah. Tapi sebab I need to make the video for mamalang and there are not enough pictures, kenalah kembali untuk photo outings.need to tak pictures of Kuantan City.

And this time, have to make it right! Takleh macam haritu. Tersasar ambik gambar syok sendiri. Tapikan, i doubt it. Ya is with me kan.

Facebook, twitter and photobucket are all turning into arse!

Argh!

And by the way, Im stranded in KL. Was suppose to go back to Kuantan today, but they left without me as Kak Ngah got an early court case.

Double argh!

Since my big luggage and dirty laundry is still at Mamalang's house.. plus unfinished work, I have to go back on my own BY BUS sometime this week.

Triple argh!

Wait! Just by the fact i have to go back by bus alone require 5 argh on its own. Shit! Public transportation, long journey, not familiar with the route, no toilet, claustrophobia, strangers...

Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh!

Zamil is home!! Back to himself. Screaming well and eating very well. Not bleeding anymore thank god.

Its so funny seeing him toothless. 11 were extracted and 9 ditampal. I dont know the English term. So pardon me.

Abah made a funny statement. Adik dah macam True Blood. Takdak gig depan. Ada taring je!
Wahahahahahhaha! And lagi kelakar, I didn't publish this because I was too engrossed watching True Blood.

By the way, total chargers for Adik's medical bill including operation, medicaton and ward placement is...







wait for it....






RM 12. Benefits of OKU and government serving parent.

The operation for Adik's teeth removal went quite well. It was suppose to be done after Subuh but since BOTH of my parents gave his 7.5ml Epilim dosage (each!) earlier that morning, he was stoned, literally. Therefore, they can't put him on anaesthetic because he will be unconscious until the next evening. Not something any of us would want to risk with his condition.

He went into Operation Theater at 1.30pm and came only at 6.30. The operation went well but he wont stop bleeding because he is already 17, his gum wont heal as fast. Furthermore grown adult must put pressure by biting cloth, he can't do that by himself so they can only dab a cloth to absorb the blood.

I went to see him later that night. He was half conscious and drowsy. He was fighting his eyes not go back to sleep. When he heard my voice he started whining, as if he is trying to tell that he is in pain. He was crying too. The anaesthetic must have gone out the system. And Im sure he is hungry too. The last time he ate was at 10 AM.

Im going to see him again later. Hoping for an improvement and speedy recovery. He's a fighter. He will be fine. Wish him well yea?

Apart from the 7 bottles of Rejoice shampoo that I replaced Millie with, I have been doing a lil bit of shopping too. Sorry Milly & Shammy, tak sempat tunggu korang. I takleh tahan.

The bundle at TC swallowed Rm45 and gave me 4 long tops and 1 boxer in return.
The bundle in Kajang (yang best tak terhingga sebab kualiti elok dan harga bole kurang ikut suka hati macam aku ni owner kedai) made me buy a brown leather jacket and a brown slack with leather detail on the hips.

I wanted a bomber jacket actually, and wasn't really planning to buy anything. Tapi termuat pulak. And the jacket was Rm30 je kot! Mana bole tahan!! Kalau tak beli rasa macam nak roll on the floor sobbing.
The pants was Rm10. Therefore Rm40 tergadai. Needs a little shortening sebab saya ni kan pendek.

Next stop! Bundle Pak Cu Ajib at Taman Dagang and to find a bag at 6Tea's in Desa Pandan.

On Friday I was in Kuantan. Abah, Mama and Adik came back for Adik's final medical check up before his operation on Monday.

Saturday morning, we went back to Kajang for a family gathering at Mummy Kim's place and Iman's cukur jambul later that night.

Berkumpul untuk makan session was a blast. Everybody came back this time except for a few. We had a photo session earlier. I thought it was meant for the relatives in Semarang but Pak Long actually meant it for Pak Teh Joe in Bath, England.

We discussed our trip to Semarang in July. I can't believe its really happening. Im going out of the country to experience different culture. And to shop!!!! 5 days trip to Jakarta-Semarang-Solo. Since I'll be arriving on the 5th. I'll miss the shopping trip to Bandung on the 4th. Sedih but Im still going to be there. Kan? =)

Dinner was at the kenduri. I didn't eat much except a lot of masak lemak cili api pucuk ubi. Which makes me have stomach ache even until now. I snapped a photo of Ibu (my aunt) and the newborn Iman (her grandson) and I choked up. Tersentap. The shot reminded me of my own photo with Nenek.

The first photo is Ibu and Iman, and the second one is Nenek and I. Actually, I didn't just choked. I cried.

Oh. Im in Kuantan again. We went back this morning for Adik's teeth removal operation tomorrow. The car must be really tired!

Few hours to 11 May.
Exactly 1 year since the last gig that I attend with fun friends.
One year since Rockestra.
One year since last Nervedeless, Butters, HAND, & Hujan performances that I enjoyed tremendously.
One year since my last period.
Yesss! That is what I've been counting. NOTHING else!
Oh and its Nana's birthday tomorrow too.

Katriyana, Happy 19th Birthday! Hope everything goes well for you. <3

* Im not complaining much, but I do miss having period.

Hari Hol adalah cuti umum di Pahang sempena kemangkatan Sultan Abu Bakar. I didn't know that at first. I asked Aiman and his answer was " Hari Lobang. Lubang kubur!"
Mana nak percaya kan?

Harini kan saya patutnya on assignment (from Mamalang) to take photos of the beauty of Kuantan. Such places I was suppose to go was Masjid Negeri, a few Istana, around town, the malls and Teluk Chempedak.

Akan tetapi instead of doing that, I went shopping! Sapa suruh ada bundle sampai berderet 4 kedai? Lepastu jalan2 dekat Mega Mall meet up dengan Shara and bought tights. Then ke Teluk Chempedak! Sumpah jakun macam first time pergi. I was born and brought up in Kuantan but that was my first time jenjalan kat laluan pedestrian tu. I never knew it existed pun!

Lalu, sesi camwhore pun berlaku lebih daripada photo assignment.

Oh oh! Kat blakang McD TC tu ada one store jual tops from FOS at knock off price! Rm6-Rm12 memang gua borong la kan! I had fun! Im glad eventhough it's a commercial beach, it's still so pristine and preety. But naughty monkeys! One of them stole Shara's ice cream.

After sending the girls home, we went to Mak Lin's place for Faris's 4th birthday party. All the neighbour's kids stared at me the whole bloddy time. I know what they're thinking. "Sapa pompuan Cina ni? Main masuk je rumah makan free?" Ziot! Mak Lin and Danial tu sama Cina je okay??

Later, the family (The households of Darul Hani, White House, Mak Yan, Mak Lin and Kubang Buaya) went for a steamboat dinner at Shahzan Inn to celebrate Mamalang & Bahalang's 46th (?) anniversary. Which I only got to know that evening because I was out since noon. And so the super sexcited girl who rarely goes out when she is in Kuantan dressed up to camwhore through the night. Fuh putus nafas!Sebenarnya saya katik je. Danish (left) and Danial (right) is taller. I had my heels on.

Its been 2 year, 2 weeks, 3 days and few hours since Serendipity first started. Im sorry I forgot ur anniversary old friend.

I was browsing through all the postings to find decent picture I can use for facebook and decided I should create another list. I love lists. As much as I love Johnny Depp.
Therefore, here goes.

1. My saddest moment
   

   My cousin mentioned in her comment 'walaupun dh setahun sebln berlalu...but i still can't see arwah's pics without crying...mungkin the feelings yg i pendam coz i sorg je yg x dpt berada disisi arwah semasa dia sakit..i xleh dgr org cerita,sebut nama and tgk gambar' I can say the same for me too. When everybody else was with her during her last seconds, I was at home reading the Yassin. I regreted not being there. I never had my closure, not even now.
   

2. The time I nearly fell into depression
   

   Got rejected by UiTM twice, failed driving test twice (which i have yet retaken), not working, not studying, no purpose in life.

3. My first happiness in months after school ended
   
4. My favourite things I miss most from college
   
5. My wishlist I can cross out
6. My first and proudest academic achievement up to date
7. The last time I had my period
8. The day I allow someone to woo me
9. The most frustrating day
10. The day I bought my baby and heard the word fuck from my dad
    
11. Incident that helps me recover from post break up depression

    Kami pergi minum cendol! Dapat lepak dengan awak buat saya happy. Thanks tau?

12. My first depression
13. My brother, Zamil Fahmi Ahmad Fahmi
14. Rahsia!

    Awak tau tak ni antara hari yang paling menggembirakan.

15. Because I still miss you and you owe me a teh tarik session
16. Just because I want you guys to read it again..and again..and again
17. The entry in which i curse a certain budak skolah but it was actually Eikha who stalked me
18. Mama, and her weird fantasy
19. The last time I went to the cinema with Abah
20. My private blog, the one with all the posts you can't read
    

Happy 2nd year Serendipity! Thanks for always being here.

You know when texting or chatting sometimes you are left to answer with nothing but OK.

Ok, bila tak tahu apa nak dikatakan.
Ok, when all is good.
Ok, when its not good but you want it to be.
Ok, bila apa kita nak itu memang tak dapat kecapi.
Ok, bila kita terpaksa redha dengan keadaan.
Ok, when we are hoping for the best outcome.
Ok, when there are no other words.

Dalam kes awak, saya OK =)

I have very thick and stubborn hair. Coarse, dry and also damaged. Its so hard for me to find a decent shampoo. Most of it will make my hair feel great after hair wash. But once it is dry, my hair will be stiff macam papan.

Sunsilk once produced Limited Edition Sunsilk Summer Breeze. Best gila!! Smells like watermelon and leaves my head feeling light and breezy because of the methol. That was 4 years back. Then last year I discovered Rejoice Sun Care. Sumpah rambut lembut dan sangat best pakai tu. Sadly they discontinued it early this year. Sangat dengki okay!!

Harini teman Mamalang beli barang dapur kat Pantai Selamat. Pantai Selamat is a minimarket equivalent to Hock Choon which sell groceries from overseas too. Sebab tu dia sangat best! Benda kat Tesco or Carrefour xde, they got it!

The best thing that they got was REJOICE SUN CARE! Old stock since it was discontinued kan but whattahell im taking all. Seven 200ml bottles, one 250ml conditioner and i cleaned the isle!


Puas!

Exactly a week untuk genap setahun!

J Fetish? Tambah lagi satu!!!

Punat introduced me to their song, Kau Curi Lagi featuring Prisa. Love the song! Catchy, lirik pun best. Oh chup! Prisa is like THE girl in Indonesia. Boys drool for her. Hello, muka comel, suara sedap, kulit putih gebu, main gitar untuk band metal lagi tuh. Sapa tanak!

Anyway, harini TERjumpa Cobalah Kau Mengerti. Lagi best! Layaaannn..


Chorus:

Cobalah kau mengerti
Cobalah kau mengerti
Bahwa aku ini telah mengetahui
telah mengetahui dia ingin memilikimu

Dengarkanlah diriku
Dengarkanlah diriku
Wahai kekasihku
Karena ku tak mau kehilangan dirimu

Saya tak punya ramai rakan. Apa yang ada itu saya pertahankan.
Dulu memang wujud aku yang rajin berkawan. Yang rajin membuka ruang diri untuk dipersendakan.

In my nature, its normal that I am not in the in crew. Never was in any. As a teenager it was every heart's desire to get notice, to be popular and to be in the coolest crowd. Not to mention to have a boyfriend. I grew up wanting but had none of it. For a while, I rejected being myself. I want to be somebody else.

War within yourself, there can never be a winner. I tried and I failed. In the end I stopped trying. Only then, I found that im a winner anyway. I dont have to start the war in the first place, i just have to accept myself. By embracing the life im leading, everything just fall into place.

Form 3. That was the turning point. First best friend, Liea. First crush, Matiin. First admirer, he who shall not be named. First academic success, 6As in PMR. First outing with friends without adult supervision, Chilli's at KLCC. Blessed!

It only got better in future. By the end of school Im blessed with having friends, close friends, best friends that I love and hope can remain close until we are as old as Mona Lisa.

Liea, even though you are whiny as hell, speak with a slur, and tall as the Eiffel Tower you still lean on me. I guess you are actually the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Dont worry, lean on me.

Milly, you know I remember I had a childhood wish. I wished for you as my best friend. I was 7 then. 10 years later, at 17, my wish is granted. We have always been friends but having you as my best friend...Yeah! Hahaha. You think a lot like me, you know me better than myself, and you know just what to say. Its as if instead of speaking my mind, you put words in my head! I love you weed.

Nana, hah! You are the longest friend I ever had. You were my classmate through half of Primary and in the last 2 years of Secondary. We got closer towards the end right? I was there to listen to your first letdown and still Im all ears for you, always. Cant say the same for you though, you can onl listen through your right ear.

Ashley, dont think I forgot you? My sweetest friend. Things might not work out between you and him but we bond well didnt we? Thanks for your time for me. I know we have different clique but you always make an effort for me.

Phia, Sara, Yana, awesome foursome! You guys and the rest of Timah i hope for an everlasting bond. Kita ramai sangat tapi sangat best kalau sampai beranak-pinak maseh boleh gila-gila together. And i hope for our spouses to be friends too. Barulah terbaek!

Love you girls. xoxo

Saya di Kuantan! Cuti sebulan ini akan dihabiskan di sini (sebahagian besar masa) dan merata-rata tempat lain seperti KL, Genting (dalam perancangan), Penang (juga dalam perancangan) bagi sebahagian kecil masa.

Di Kuantan cuaca amat panas, malam2 hujan kadangkala lebat. Seperti semalam yang mana menyebabkan saya selsema teruk* sehingga demam pada hari ini. Makan di sini terlampau best, baru 4 hari dah naik beberapa kilo. Tak perlu bagitau berapa. Okay, setelah berak puas-puas lepas dinner tadi masa untuk bazir masa buat tag!

*Selsema teruk - hidung berair dan sangat gatal, tak boleh bernafas, DAN mata juga berair seolah-olah menangis. Sebab air mata berlinangan. Serious!


A - Age ; Dah hit the 20! Dah kuar kategori teenagers!
B - Bed size ; Queen! Like the band. Which is not British. Also like the band.
C - Chore you hate ; ALL. Taking out the garbage tops my list. Benci air meleleh-leleh!
D - Dog's name ; Dont like them.
E - Essential start your day item ; check phone.
F - Favorite color ; purple, turquoise, black.
G - Gold or Silver ; silver
H - Height ; takdelah tinggi mana, too short for my weight.
I - Instruments you play(ed) ; once, i learned to play cello.
J - Job title ; student.
K - Kid(s) ; sextuplets.
L - Living arrangements ; renting away from parents, but actually still living with parents.
M - Mom and dad live near or far ; near.
N - Nicknames ; Fa for FAMILY!
O - Overnight hospital stay (other than birth) ; Snake bite masa kecik, dengue in form 3.
P - Pet Peeve ; orang goyang2 sepak kerusi im sitting on. female smokers.
Q - Quote from a movie ; With great power comes great responsibility -Spiderman
R - Right or left handed ; Righty.
S - Siblings ; 2.
T - Time you wake up ; 11. then tido balik so depends.
U- Underwear ; berlubang
V - Vegetable you dislike ; bawang goreng. sayur hijau.
W - Ways you run late ; Tido. Malas. Procrastinate.
X - X-rays you've had ; For Uni's med checkup. Oh and once for my butt!
Y - Yummy food you make ; ask my housemates. Ya, Eikha, Phia, Yana and Sara love my bubur.
Z - Zoo favorite ; flamingo sebab free to roam everywhere. dan mereke mengejutkan Nana. Hahaha Klakar!

Bosan gak tag nih. Neways, Paten i tag u.

Oh jap ada cerita tentang Hazriq si comel. My nephew. Very cute and very funny. On Saturday, everyone left Mamalang's house at Kuantan to attend a wedding in Pekan. I reached White House later than everyone else. Upon seeing me,

Hazriq: Laa kenapa datang sini jugak?
Me: What? U think you are the only one who can come here?
Him: Yeah (with a knowing look on his face)
Me: Ha. I wasn't expecting that answer so I dont know what to reply.