Ennui

In efforts to fix myself, remove negativity, eliminate toxic people - I've become a recluse. I noticed I didn't like it much because I am so not an introvert. I loveeeeeee being around people, big crowds. But it's necessary. Change is necessary, change can be good. This change specifically is for the good.

So ennui and lethargy has been my constant companion recently. The only remedy for me is my huge family. They're my happy pills, my positive injection. I have friends around me who have been helping too. Just by being around, they don't know how much they mean to me. Really.

My constant reminder to myself right now is just to be good. To do good. Let go. Some things are not meant to stay. There's a silver lining why I don't get what I want right now. Maybe it's the time - not yet. Maybe I'm not ready - emotionally, financially. Forget physicality - never made much impact.

Give chance to yourself. To be the best version of yourself. InsyaAllah. Sometimes I hate that I turn to Allah only when I am at my lowest point. But I read somewhere that maybe the difficulties are sent to you as a reminder, of how much He is missing you and want you to remember Him too.

Alhamdulillah. Tak sangka begitu bertuah dalam ramai-ramai, masih ada ruang untuk dipilih.

Terima kasih. Thank you. I give myself to you. As I've always belonged to you. And I hope I will always remember that. Don't let me go please.

I'll make You my #relationshipgoals :)