I have this exact image printed and pasted on my office cubicle panel. Right next to me. As a constant reminder to be baik. So far I'm able to live according to the suggestions and feel proud that I managed to tick many from the liste.

I am having problem with number 9, trying really hard with number 20 and have no control with number 1.

Just thought of sharing this with my readers - if I still have any. Do things that make you feel good, once you get that inner peace, everything else just comes to you.

For me, alhamdulillah. I really have to thank Allah. Of late, I felt that apa I nak, semua dapat. What ever I asked for, I get it. I now see that by being appreciative, things become easier for me.

How do I put it? Maybe when I was younger, I asked for too much and had no patience. Now, because I learned to let go, to not expect too much, apa yang dapat I terima dan syukur.

And I have to share something. I am a believer of sedekah. Have always been but recently, got strengthen even more. I read a story about someone who felt that his 10k salary never being enough compared to his previous salary which was so much lesser. His solution? To make sure he gives out 10% of his salary monthly as sedekah. The problem never occurred again. There's always money, alhamdulillah.

My story. After reading that, I thought OK maybe I should give out more. Every time I visit my brother's grave I will allocate some amount for the donation box. The advice given was, give out the bigger amount and not your loose change. So that day, I gave the biggest note I had.

Alhamdulillah, to this day I still have cash for daily usage. Usually at the end of the month my wallet will be dried out already. This month I'm doing quite fine. And that is inclusive of travelling. MasyaAllah.

I am still striving to be better. I hope I can give more in future insyAllah in return I will benefit more.

Hello hi!

This pemalas person have been too malas to blog of late because

1. I dont go online using my laptop anymore, now its just phone and iPad and its no fun to write without a proper keyboard kan?
2. I write on Twitter? (can that pass as a reason?)
3. There's too much that happened but not really blog worthy.
4. Nah, I just don't feel sharing. Life is content when you dont try to seek that much attention anymore.

In a nutshell, I would have to agree with Pakchaq when he once said that blog tempat orang cari perhatian,

So anyway! This post is to explain where, how, and why Wallpak is being used by E, Ya and I.

Terasa terpanggil nak explain when E blogged about it here.

In USM, I am close to Kimi and Syafiq. One time we went out with their mutual friend Jali. Kimi and Jali are from Kelantan and they have a friend with an unsignificant name I cannot remember. That friend will blurt WALLPAK! When he is angry or mad at something. We don't know what it means. Even Kimi and Jali do not know, they just laughed at him.

So Kimi, Jali, Syafiq and I assumed that Wallpak is the friend's version of WTF. Get it? Doesnt't it sound similar and almost had the same effect?

And since that night I decided I want to use Wallpak instead of using WTF too. More sopan since its not actually cussing. Heh heh heh.

THE END

Why can't I be honest to the person who hurt me most, who I care about the most, who I love the most?

This is my niece, Aryanna Arwen Johanabas. One of the youngest in the family, definitely the wittiest and cutest thing everrrrrrrr! Semalam went for dinner courtesy of her parents, Abang Ayis and Kak Lisha and got to meet this little princess! Geram gila okay. Mula-mula sepperti biasa lah she started of being the NO girl that she is. Then warmed up to me when I told her there's a book in the back seat of the car next to me. She showed me the pictures in the pages, and on one particular page she smirked and told me "Arwen makan ni",  while pointing a small part of the page that was torn. So cute, I don't even!

Babies don't really like me. Since Arwen is moving to the toddler stage, I guess that's why suddenly she wants to play with me. Its a bit weird for me that she was the one who initiated the simple games like 'stealing' my hand, or asking me to hug her when the car swerve to left or right, and holding my hand to keep me safe during the journey.

She used to call me Aunty Fa, but yesterday she kept calling me Aunty Ya. Got mixed up to my cousin Ya. When we correct her, she call me by a new name. Aunty Far. And we can hear the emphasist on the R. Hehehehe geraaammm! That's not even the best thing yet.

After dropping me off, Abang Ayis told me that Arwen said to Kak Lisha, "Arwen sad Mama. Arwen not happy." Because I was gone! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh can be cuter or not!!!! And I thought I couldn't love her more!

Teeeeeeeeet! I no no has pokerface. I has Monopoly face. Because I don't play poker but Monopoly. Aku dah jadi lame. Pardon my newy developed lameness.

So anyway, after GV ended, an aunty came to me and started chatting with me. Very mengejut. berterus-terang and downright true. Its shocking weh! The conversation goes a lil like this.

"Sorry ah, aunty cakap you jangan marah. You ni very hot tempered ah. Can see from your face. Sangat senang marah. But now not so much anymore. You can control it a bit. Muka you garang, sombong. Orang dont want to tegur. But after talk with people than okaylah. Like if aunty talk to you first, then you very friendly. You outside very sombong, but actually inside lembut hati. Senang kesian. You the type will do anything for friends. Sangat sayang kawan. Betui tak? But you pilih-pilih. If you close to one person only that one lah. And also, if orang sudah buat salah dengan you, you takmau rapat lagi. You mulut cakap okay loh. Tapi hati sudah takmau.


Some more you tak suka orang control. Kalau orang tanya-tanya pigi mana, keluar ke apa, balik pukul berapa, you tak suka. Pada you asal pandai jaga diri, you tau takda buat tak elok, selamat, then okaylah. Right now you dont have a boyfriend. Got someone who likes you but you don't want. You mau fokus pelajaran. And also you ada suka satu lelaki. Tapi takda apa jadi. Sebab you taktau dia macamana. Betui tak? Dia jenis senyap lah. Tak sama macam you punya. Kalau dua-dua jenis banyak-banyak cakap senang gaduh maa"

Is that scary or what??? She randomly came up to me and gave that analysis. The best thing was it is almost 90% accurate. SERIOUSLY?

Okay first things first. Whatever! Tak suka jangan baca. Memang agak tak senonoh post kali ni.

So yesterday, I lepak-ed at my friends room and she randomly asked, "Hani cuba senyum, nak tengok pipi. I did and told her that I have chubby cheeks. And she replied, "tu lah sebab tu dada kau tinggi." Motif???

Menurut my friend itu, female face features are actually hints for the female private areas. That's why female wear purdah. Not only to block their nostril from the dust and sand it seems.

So yeah,

Cheeks - keanjalan dan kemantapan boobs

Eyebrows - errr the pubic hair

Size of mouth - size of vulva

There's something about the nose too, but she can't remember. Betul atau tak? Wallahualam!

In the mean time, feed your curiosity! Here's my favourite girls.

Serendipity,

its not that I don't love you anymore. But I don't think I can share too much here now. I've said earlier, I don't know who is reading me right? And chances are they will speculate what I wrote into something else. We've been through all that, and we still have to go through it now. Kita penat kan?

Orang keliling kita tak penat. Kalau macam ni kan, I might as well be hot, famous or brilliant. Baru betul-betul ada sebab untuk diperkatakan.

Mungkin silap pilih kawan, mungkin silap mahu berkawan.

Tak berkawan pun nanti salah. Tak mahu berkawan, lagi lah salah.

Kita senyumkan sahaja.

Takpelah.

Biar apa orang buat kat kita, jangan kita yang buat orang.

Abah dengan Mama ajar jadi ikhlas kan?

And I believe in karma. Remember to be good, always.

I takkan marah, sebab dah tak reti dah nak rasa perasaan itu.

Dah lali. Terlalu banyak kali.

Tapi beringat sendiri lah, kalau boleh jadi kat I, tentu boleh jadi kat mereka juga kan?

Oh. Last.. cemana agaknya boleh tak terfikir yang apa-apa cerita akan sampai kat I semula? Selalunya tak ambil masa lama pun. Hmmm..

I never regret the friends I made. They taught me that not everyone is good.

I never regret the posts I wrote, pictures I posted.

I never regret having you. You remind me of who I am.

We'll talk soon Serendipity. All my love for you.

Till then.

For a dearest friend of mine:

It the truth is not helping you out, cry.

If crying still doesn't help, then lie.

Eventually you'll believe the lies you tell yourself.

Dan semangat untuk semua:

Kalau kau pernah takut mati, sama

Kalau kau pernah patah hati, aku juga iya
Dan sering kali
Sial datang dan pergi
Tanpa permisi
Kepadamu

Suasana hati

Tak peduli

Kalau kau kejar mimpimu salute!

Kalau kau ingin berhenti
Ingat ntuk mulai lagi
http://www.free-lyrics.org/16329-Letto.html
Tetap semangat
Dan teguhkan hati
Di setiap hari
Sampai nanti
Sampai mati

Kadang memang
Cinta yang terbagi
Karena memang
Seringkali mimpi tak terpenuhi
Seringkali

Tetap melangkah
Dan keraskan hati
Di setiap hari
Sampai nanti sampai mati

- Sampai nanti, sampai mati; Letto

Waktu penat dan sangat stress untuk kita semua. We'll make it. Paling kurang, we have each other. This is the post about strength. About having it, giving it and sharing it. Sebulan lagi. Kita sehabis boleh yea?

I think I dah masuk phase dengar lagu dan relate. Over tak? Current earworm:

• Jesse McCartney - Just So You Know
• Jessica Simpson - With You
• Jason Mraz - You and I
• Sheila on 7 - Pemuja Rahasia
• Letto - Sampai Nanti, Sampai Mati
• Matt Weddle - Hey Ya
• SS501 - Be Nice To Me Please
• A.P.I. - Pelita
• All Maher Zain's songs

Cerita tentang diri sendiri.

• Tercalon. Alhamdulillah. Ini bakal jadi satu alasan untuk hadirkan diri upacara sebulan lagi.
• Konsert Maher Zain, minggu depan. With Abah. I'm all smiles.
• The best bit? Going home. After 5 weeks.
• Seminggu lagi. Tahankan.
• Saya penat! Nak mandi hujan. Atau air sungai, atau air terjun. Apa-apalah. Asalkan air. Elemen saya air.

Nampak macam rapat sangat kan? I baru kenal diorang 2 bulan lepas. And they've known each other for over a year. I'm glad they're so welcoming and I can adapt easily. Sayang orang!

On another note. I decided that the people here are no longer robots. I've met my match, and some that I can knock heads with (Groban, Aunty, this means you). Seriously, they've made the transition easy. People don't ask (much), they politely ask if they really want to, and most of them just accept it. They embrace it just like I did.

The best fact: Most of them came up and said I looked cuter. Ngeh! Perasan much?

The best fact #2: Boleh ke ada best fact number 2? Anywayssss! My cousin said, now I'll know if a person likes me for who I am and not by how I look.

The best fact #3: Okay I dah tak peduli. Nak gak additional best fact. Now that I'm not bothered by how my hair looks, I feel more ME!

The best fact #4: I lagi selesa, more confident. Except when I wear the inner. Felt like a makcik with a serkup on. Can't allow myself to wear it just yet. Sebab I felt uncomfortable. It bothers me too much. The first day I put it on. It took me nearly an hour to get my shawl felt right. Only to find myself rushing to the toilet as soon as I reached class, to fix it again.

The best fact #5: Somehow I felt that more people are looking at me. Maybe because they noticed the changes. But I never feel insecure. Not once! Best feeling yet!

This morning, my English lecturer came to me with my essay in her hand. "Did you do this yourself?", she asked. "You have a flair in writing"

I'm excluding the fact that I didn't answer the essay question well, I'm just happy to hear that from her. The last time I heard that sentence was a few years back from the movie Riding in Car with Boys, for Drew Barrymore's character. And I wanted to hear that for myself. I finally did! Little things that put a smile on my face.

Alih bahasa.

Dan kelmarin, seorang kawan yang cinta bahasa Melayu dan segalanya Melayu perkatakan "Awak orang seni", memang tidaklahkan. Jauh betul aku dari makna orang seni.

Langsung debat kecil berlaku.

"No, I'm not"

"Yes, you are"

"No, I'm not"

"Yes, you are. Bahasa yang kamu guna, bahasa seni"

"No, I'm not. I know myself"

Kemudian, terfikir Johari Window. Open self, hidden self, blind self, unknown self.

Mungkin itu my blind self atau unknown self. Kan? Terima kasih kerana point it out, tapi dari mana nampaknya bahagian diri tu, awak je lah yang tahu. Saya tak nampak.

I got 2 incidents I MUST tell everyone.

Incident 1
Main character: Ya

After leaving Timah for the final time on 30th November, Ya and I went back to Sungai Buloh. Mama served us sup gearbox with meatballs in addition to our Sani char kuetiau. After finishing our kuetiau, we attacked the gearbox. There are 2 sides of the muscle and ligament which we love because its chewy and so nice to eat. Ya finished one side and 'pass the baton' to me. I started biting my side of the bone while she was looking- no, staring, at me. As I got to the third bite (with the very appealing crunch sound mind you), ya can't help it anymore and exclaimed NAK!! I was laughing already sebab muka dia sangat kasihannnn. I told her I dont think Im ready to be married if Im not satisfied eating like that. Ya replied. (here's the best part) "tu lah..kita ni macam CARNIVAL kan?"

Yerp! She joined carnivore and cannibal together.

Incident 2
Main character: Eikha

Yesterday E, Ya, Redza, Ayaq and I had late lunch at Mahligai's club house while waiting for the rain to stop. We planned to go swimming when the rain pours, so us girls who were famished made them boys eat with us too. After eating, I bought a bun to be eaten with my teh o. The rest have finished and were walking towards the gazebo. I had a bun on 1 hand, and my cup of tea on the other so I was not sure how to avoid the rain from getting in my tea. "Alaaaaa, cemana ni? Nanti hujan masuk dalam air" to which Eikha replied, "Entah Fa ni, genius. Meh la I habiskan roti you tu!"

I was dumbfounded when I heard that and just cracked up laughing. Redza pun dah tak boleh control his laughter. You're the genius E!

1. All of them belong in one big group with one common ground, the love for the girls.
2. Lepak session always involve 2 things, lots of cigarettes and girl guy talk.
3. The main topic of guy talk will be girls.
4. It could be about the one that was passing by them.
5. Their current eye candy.
6. The ones who use to attract their eyes.
7. The ones who is interested in them.
8. The ones who WAS interested in them.
9. The ones that annoy them. Ie: a classmates, a girl from different clique.
10. Their friend's girlfriend.
11. Their girlfriend's friends.
12. Their friend's friend.
13. Maria Ozawa.

Tak percaya? Try lah. You will strike off at least 3 points. Hah! Don't say you hate girls for gossiping. You all are gossipers too.

XOXO, you know you love me.

Footnote: This came up because some people just love bringing back old issues. Not knowing they're not any better compared to the ones they are judging.

Im at KOTH's house (my cousin). Nephews just got back from mengaji and was running up and down taking toys out from the room to play downstairs. The neighbour's kids are here also. I paid no attention to them as I was facebook-ing. Standard lah kan.

The boys were screaming, calling names to get attention amongst them. Izat came to me, "Tgk ni water gun lagi besar dari awak, saya nak tembak awak" sambil pulling the trigger. Malas nak layan sangat, so tak pandang pun. "Tengok lah! Awak taknak tengok ke? Sekali je" so I turned and faced the big ass red really cool looking water gun.

Me: Whoa sapa punya ni?
Izzat: Hakim..
Me: Hakim mana?
Izzat looks at me blankly, trying to find a way to answer my question.
Me: (finally recalls who) oohh Hakim, abg awak!

Damn! Baru seminggu setengah puasa. Pukul 4.30 je pun. Lapar sangat sampai x ingat anak saudara sendiri. Jemmmm!! Ramai sangat Hakim!!

Being surrounded with kids have a lot of benefit. Im hardly ever emo. They are all so fun to be with. And especially fun to talk too. Downright funny!

Before exercise last Thursday, Khairul Adam came to me.
"Aunty!! Last time I went to Petrosains, I play inside the helicopter!"
Another boy came, "Aunty I also went to Petrosains to play inside helicopter!"
"Oh you did? Did you 2 went together?"
To which Khairul Adam looked at me, tried to arrange his words and replied "No aunty, I went THREE-gether with mama and abah".

Lelangit timbul atau tidak, dapat diketahui sendiri dengan menggunakan lidah anda. Cuba gunakan lidah anda, rasa dan alami sendiri. Boleh juga gunakan jari. Anda akan rasakan lekuk dan bahagian tengah yg timbul.

As for other people to know there are 2 ways:

1. For you to tell them
2. For them to tell you.

Pecahan bagi nombor 2.

• Mereka boleh nampak apabila anda mendongak.
• They use the same method you used on you.

Clarification: Andre used method 2.1. Dont get any ideas now! (Kak Lisha, this means you.)