After 2 months of hiatus from attending weddings every weekend (yes, I attend weddings every weekend - that's my favourite past time. And because in Islam its our kewajipan to another Muslim. I'll list it down below), I was super excited to attend a White Wedding in Teratak Murni!

Achik Kerry got married (ehem!) to his wife Kak Ammilia on Saturday the 8th of April. And because this is not the first marriage for the pair, they decided to have small, simple, sempoi minum petang (tea time reception) the next day on the 9th.

Though I was informed that there's not much to be done since its not exactly a reception, I did come back a day earlier. Hey, it's a wedding - of course there's something to be done. And being a close knit family like we are - too many surprises!

• Toto & Neni prepared 100pcs doorgift for the guests. I bought Ferrero Rocher in Langkawi as requested by Toto and simply passed it to Achik in Langkawi for him to bring back to KL . (The groom didn't even know it was meant for his wedding)
• Ya & Ayaq bought 2 cakes for the occasion and Kak Aisha also bought one, we only found out about all these cakes through WhatsApp conversation when the groom requested for an anniversary cake for Toto & Neni and a joined birthday cake for April babies.
• Tantiey & Along decided to decorate the wakaf and arch for photo taking purposes, and Tantiey being the super crafty person that she is - even created pinata filled with chocs for the kids.
• There was a lottttt of plastic and tissue flowers required for the deco and I am not at all a DIY person - but I helped.

The morning of the wedding, we were all still preparing for the makan-makan later and did not change until 30minutes before the event. But my my my, it was soooooo lovely seeing all of us in white and light tones - a merry gathering in the rain.

   

YES, it poured! But didn't stop anybody from enjoying the time. I loveeee family time. 

To Achik, may this marriage last until the end of time. You already know how I feel about you finally having a family of your own. Indescribable feeling. What more you, who's been wanting it for so long.

Kak Ammilia and sons - Azriff & Ayden, welcome to the family! You guys complete Achik. I am happy for you as much as I am for him. Good luck raising 3 boys Kak Amy!

Footnote: as mentioned earlier, here's the list of  duties/obligations of one Muslim to another

1. To give and receive the greeting of peace - Assalammualaikum
2. To respond to invitations - thus the reason I am always attending weddings
3. To advise when asked - give beneficial opinion, one you would like to hear yourself
4. to pray for well-being of one who sneezed - you've heard before when someone says Bless You. Same concept.
5. To visit one who is ailing - the best of the righteous deeds, to ease their worries.
6. To attend his/her funeral - it is obligatory.

Last weekend, I went to a total of 6 weddings of friends and family. Yup! you saw that right, 6! From Friday night to Sunday night.

Wedding #1
Who: Kak Sheena and husband, Ikmal.
Where: Keramat Hujung Atas
Time: 8pm, Jumaat malam

Kelam-kabut meeting start at 4. Buat kerja sikit tahu-tahu dah pukul 8. Rush balik, mandi, bersiap ala kadar. Turun bawah tengok dinner dah hidang maka makan dulu laaa. So when I got there, of course kereta dah banyak - had to park bawah bukit and menapak in my clog shoes. Gigih! As I arrived, everyone was walking out for dinner. Didn't get to see the nikah took place but managed to take a picture with the bride and groom!

Wedding #2 
Who: E & Em's Solemnization
Where: Masjid Wilayah
Time: 11am

Technically, I attended the pre-nikah prep coz I was at Eikha's place until 3am with some of the rest, isi bekas telur. Next morning (nasib baik not as a zombie), I went back to her place to be one of the dulang girls. All of us were dressed in maroon attire + gold hijab. The bride wanted it that way. We thought it wasnt pretty. But alas! In pictures it looked great! Thank you Eikha!

E & Em met in Korea. Within a week or so - E who doesn't have any plan to get married (eventhough she had boyfriends previously) - announced to us "I think he's the one". Then she became the giggly schoolgirl mabuk angau bercinta. And when we finally met Em - the smitten schoolboy, we know its gonna happen sooner or later.

Sooner it is. I'm happy for you both. Really.
Thank you Em for marrying E. And E, I believe you chose the right guy who can guide you and make you happy.

(wipe tears kejap)

Em, you don't read my blog but I trust E will pass this to you.
Thank you for putting up with me eventhough you don't really have to. I met you once and didn't even care to make good impression on you. But you made a great first impression. Except for the handbag. I was already teasing you then. Still you went along, and properly, sincerely accepted me as one of your friends.

I don't always feel accepted. But you're one of the rare cases. Thank you. You're a great friend walaupun I belum kenal you lama. That's why I know you will be a good husband to E. Harap2 doa lepas nikah tu mujarab lah. Hehehe.

Take care of each other. Though I don't always spend time with you guys, I feel it when you guys balik Korea. TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!!

Wedding #3
Who: Lily & Alan's 's Solemnization
Where: Masjid Besi, Putrajaya
Time: 3pm

If you see in the previous pic I dah pakai tudung warna lain, that's coz I am now vain. I taknak nampak pakai same thing for next majlis. So I changed my headscarf and kain, and head to the next ceremony in Putrajaya. This couple have been together since we all started studying in UNISEL in 2008. That's where they met!

The wedding we have been waiting for a long time. Alhamdullah, terikat jugak. Lily is one of my Timah girls, and both Lily+Lalan are my Photo Phamily. Corny name started of in uni coz most of the gang were from Diploma in Photography course. I love both of you. You guys made a pretty hipster couple. Can't wait for little LilyAlan. Senyap2 tapi nakal. Pastu comel. Traits from both parents.

Since the akad nikah took place in one of Putrajaya's attractive mosques, there were some tourists recording the proceeding. Dengan 2 kali lafaz, Alan became Lily's husband. Yang first lafaz dah sah tapi papa Lily nervous so they had to do take 2.

Wedding #4
Who: E & Em's reception
Where: Bangi Golf Resort
Time: 8pm

Right after Lily's nikah, I shot off to Bangi. Nasib baik Putrajaya-Bangi tak jauh. Kalau tak mati jugaklah. E asked Nadzmee and I to be their emcee. We were supposed to do it non formal, fun, laidback chill. Tapi Im not the non-formal type so I jadi announcer. Yang si Nadzmee pulak flight attendant, so he used his aircraft voice.

But truthfully, that night was funny. Nasib baik sorang dah biasa handle guests atas awan, yang lagi sorang dah ada experience run exhibitions.  So we both were multitasking as emcee-AV guy-deejay-runner-floor manager. I hope the night went well (on our part lah) sebab the way I see it nampak okay je semua =)

The night also became a reunion for many of us. I got to see my ex-lecturer, my old friends, update each other on gossips and job prospects! Pastu malam tu sebab exhausted - I crashed the newlyweds room. Maaf. Tapi thanks menjemput. And thanks for the breakfast buffet! Nyumssss!

Wedding #5
Who: Lily & Alan's Reception
Where: Taman Botani, Putrajaya
Time: 1.30pm

Sesudah E & Em check out - I made my way to Putrajaya again. Driving was a breeze sebab Putrajaya area takde kereta. When I got there the bride and groom were already taking pictures with guests. I missed most of the majlis it seems. Ke korang takde bersanding sebenarnya?

Ate good food, the chicken and beef were good! Waited for the rest of Timah to arrive, snap some photos and may I add - the photobooth were ADORABLE! Quite hipster-ish but not very. Just like the couple themselves. By this time I'm already exhausted. Couldn't wait for a complete Timah so I left.

Balik rumah untuk tidur 2 jam. Sebab selepas itu I need to get ready for.....

Wedding #6
Who: Fara & Fai's Reception
Where: Dewan Perdana, RRIM, Sg Buloh
Time: 8pm

Dah penat dah? Imagine me. By this time I really don't want to drive anymore. So I asked for a ride from Arie. Nasib baik menumpang. The place is in the middle of the woods, quite hard to find and scary! The compensation - getting to meet Geng Gitar Lapok! It was nice to see some of them again. More wedding news it seems.

\

OH DEAR!

If I accidentally meet Taecyen without bodyguards, I will go up to him (with weak knees) and nicely tell him.

"HI Taecyeon, I'm Hani from Malaysia. Sorry to bother you but can we please have some pictures together? Please bear with me. One picture will not be enough. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity."

And because my mukadimah is too long, he'll say yes. I'm gonna make sure i have more than enough couple shots with him. And then leave.

Please excuse me, just need to get that out of the system.

And I now ask myself. He who you thought will be for you, will end up with you, will always just be there, is speaking of marriage.
To the next girl he falls in love with.
So what do you do? Wait for that feelings to come?
Falling instantly in love doesnt happen to everyone.
The magnetic pull attract only a certain.
And realising you've been in love with that person all these years, .............

Hwaa, deep.

I think this song fits me well. I think lah.
I'm not saying the lyrics reflect my current situation, maybe adalah tempias kot.
Not really sure if this is directed to anyone in particular, mungkin adalah kot.

Katy Perry's I Think I'm Ready

Thank you for introducing this song, Grooveshark!

We are all a little weird, and life's a little weird. And when we find someone who's weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness. And we call it Love ♥

Tumblr is killing me! Harini the whole day it failed on me. I use Tumblr to channel inner emotions and random thoughts, wants, needs. Because some things aren't meant to be written. If it were to be mentioned by sentences that I typed, it'll be as is I confessed, or meng-iakan.

If its through pictures, or quotes that other people come up with but I reblogged, then it sorta give me the benefit of doubt. Its like giving vague message. Through visual communication. Hehehe. Without Tumblr and its picture archive, I started coming up with my own. Aihhhh! Here's one. And another of lyrics from Hanyut in the previous post.

Now, watch this video. Get the feel of what Tumblr usually gives me. Hope.

Kina Grannis - Valentine

Tahu tentang Arjuna?

No. Bukan TV show Remy tu. Tapi Remy memang sangat Arjuna. Hehehe.

I have this theory that Arjuna is the nearest to the 'perfect' spouse. And when I have a spouse, I shall refer to him as Arjuna.

Arjuna is actually a character in the Hindu epic Mahabharata. He was one of the Pandava heroes who is skillful in archery. That's why often Arjuna is referred to as the Cupid in the language of love. Alah you've heard the phrase 'dipanah Arjuna or panahan Arjuna' dan tolong jangan tanya Cupid tu yang mana. Sila refresh memory dan ingat a cute, half naked, little guy with wings, curly haired (usually blonde) and always holding a bow and archer.

No one actually knows why I started this interest for the idea of Arjuna. Sebenarnya it began after I watched Lan (of Azlan & The Typewriter) performed the song Arjuna (originally Dewa's) at IB for Muzikal Antara. Haaa panjang kan? Powerful voice singing a great song with catchy lyrics. I was hooked. Here's the video, tapi the euphoric sensation tak sama lah. I tengok live.

The chorus goes like this:

Akulah Arjuna, yang mencari cinta

Wahai wanita, cintailah aku

Dan repeat. Itu je yang diulang pun.

Akan tetapi! My Arjuna is a little different. I mencari Arjuna yang mencari cinta untuk Dia. By Dia, I meant Allah. Sebab jodoh ada 3:

Jodoh dari Syaitan,

Jodoh dari Jin

Jodoh dari Allah.

I nak jodoh yang ditentukan Allah. Dan kerana cinta dia pada Allah, maka InsyaAllah kami ditemukan. Pinjam quote. "Cinta di dalam jalan Allah.. Bertemu kerana sama-sama mencari redha Allah.."

Dan yang paling penting, terpelihara. I strongly believe that I'll be protected from things I do not want because niat utama dah betul. Biarkan cintanya untuk Dia, sebab dari situ cinta itu akan sampai kepada aku.

P/s: Salahkan speaking test for English course yang bertopik early marriage. I am pro early marriage! Que Maher Zain's For the Rest of My Life as background music.

My ever so thoughtful and sometimes always pretty cousin, Kak Freda, shared this with me. Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I went all gooey. Padahal baru buang that side of me, konon2 nak tunjuk keras. I want to share this with you people too. Disney Princesses, they can never go wrong. At any age.

• Why was Snow White given a poisoned apple?
• 
- to show us that not everyone is gonna be kind and not everyone is really who they say they are.

• Why did Cinderella run away at midnight?
• - to remind us that everything does have its limitations, even dreams.

• Why did Ariel exchange her fins for feet?
• - to show us that people are willing to give up anything to be with who they love & to just be happy.

• Why did Aurora sleep for 100 years?
• - to tell us that you might have to wait for quite some time for your true love to come along, sometimes very long, but it’s worth it.

• Why did Princess Jasmine fall for Aladdin?
• - to let us know that what the heart wants, it wants it. No matter what.

• Why was Belle in love with a Beast?
• - to remind us that you can’t really help what’s on the outside, but if the inside is beautiful, then nothing will stand in the way of your love.



Hello! my numbered list is back! Today it will all be all things sweet. Not just the taste, but the thought and the sentiments that brought smiles.

1. Are you sweet? Yes I am! For the people I care, I'll express it. For the people I have feelings for, I suppress it.
2. The sweetest candy bar: Cadbury's white chocolate 4wend 4eva. Its sooooo sweet that I had to nibble it little by little. But really really nice too. And the whole memory of that snack is sweet as well. Imran brought it back from South Africa for me. And the name of it is cute as hell. 4wends 4eva!
3. Sweetest dessert: Can't decide. I'm a sweet tooth, but I have yet to try the macaroons that they say is too sweet.
4. Sweetest random moment: Last Wednesday. Mas & I had an impromptu run to Sushi King for Salmon Nishoku.
5. Sweetest school memory: Sharing nasi goreng brought from home with the whole class. That wins hands down!
6. Sweetest diploma memory: My classmates failure for my 20th birthday surprise.
   
   
   
7. Sweetest degree memory: PERKOM's Cahaya Ramadhan. That's how I came to love you people.
   
   
   
8. Sweetest advice: "Jaga hati kamu elok-elok. Jangan bagi lelaki sebarangan"
9. Sweetest act by a stranger: One time back in BBGS, due to miscommunication, no one came to pick me up from school. I was 7 or 8. I waited for Abah at the bus station until after dark and didn't remember being scared. Because the canteen workers were there accompanying me. I don't remember them. But I remember them being there and me not being scared. Thank you, whoever and where ever you are.
10. Sweetest toddler: They don't usually like me, but Damia Qaisara, since her first day at Nuh's Ark have always cling to me. So much that all the other aunties refer me as her mummy.
    
    
    
11. Sweetest, by the father: Him bringing back Edward Scissorhand's DVD from Johor for me. I got teary eyed. Credits to you Tantiey.
12. Sweetest, by the mother: Dulu masa kecik, bila I balik rumah after I went away for some time, I would expect my parents to give me presents. Tak pernah berlaku pun. But once in a while, at the most unexpected times Mama will bring back stuff that I treasure until now. A crystal butterfly, and books with charm bracelets.
13. Sweetest, by the brother: He doesn't have to say anything back. Whenever I talk to him, I know he understands.
14. Sweetest phone call: Back in SA after Timah was robbed and I lost my camera, Z called. He played Edwin McCain's I'll Be on his guitar AND SANG for me. That helped.
15. Sweetest song: Radiohead's Creep. Classic. Its so sweet in a very twisted way.
16. Sweetest gift: My Juna, from Kak Long and Ayah Sham. Terima kasih banyak-banyak.
17. Sweetest treasure: My big ass family.
    
    
    
    
    
18. Sweetest month in my life: June 2010. Too many things to be thankful for.
19. Sweetest trick being played on me: You. Right now. By the universe. Its bittersweet.
20. Sweetest blog: Ini ditulis by request. Sweet like Candy

Love is a cycle. When you love you get hurt. When you get hurt, you hate.

When you hate, you try to forget. When you try to forget, you start missing.

And when you start missing, eventually you'll fall in love again.

I'm scared to care to much, to miss too much, to feel that rush once more,

to love again at the risk of getting hurt.

But what I fear the most is the part of you leaving me,

when I've already conquered those fears for you.

You asked me whose life is more important? Yours or mine. And I answered "mine".

You walked away angry- not knowing that you are my life..

Peterpan came one night and invited me to Neverland where I can never grow old.

I was about to go but I refused cause I thought of something better to do.

That is to grow old with you.

If you were the one who’d hurt me, it wouldn’t really matter.

The truth is, you can slit my throat, and with my last breath,

I’d still apologize for bleeding on your shirt.

For you I can.

Footnote: All these are taken from Zack Zuhairi's blog. I'm jealous a guy can express himself very well. His carefully written words are too beautiful not to be shared.

Since I now know what it was (I think), I can finally tell you the story.

2 days back, a guy who is working on the same project as I am touched me. Not the indecent touch. It was an appreciation pat on my shoulder but I felt as if current got through to my body from his touch.

I don't know if its because I've been reading too much Malay novels or because I am a hopeless romantic or because it really is what I thought it was. You know from books or movies, when 2 people meet and have physical contact which brings electric vibe or tingling sensation, or that punch in the gut feeling it means they are soul mate of some sort? I thought the touch was that.

Or it might be because I cringed when he touched me. I am seen as the type that wouldn't mind being touch, or hug by guys. But I really don't like it. Its okay if i touch them, but not them touching me. Yeah, bias, whatever. That's my hypocrisy.

Anyways, just now was an event which both he and I attended and we had physical contact again. He was pushing me away from being in the same picture as he is (sad, I know) and I felt nothing.

Therefore, the touch is theory 2!

Why do I love Malay novels so much? Because it all is about affairs in marriage. Despite using Abang to refer to the husband and corny storyline for some, its my guilty pleasure.

In English novels, its all about sex. Pre-marital sex, revenge sex, post break up sex, make up sex, sex with the boss, sex with the enemy, deceitful sex, and the most anticlimax type - husband and wife's sex.

Catered with all those different ones, the right type appears the most boring. And it doesn't seem pure. But its suppose to be! They've twist it all wrong.

That's why I don't have any favourite Hollywood movie. Except maybe A Walk In The Clouds starring Keanu Reeves. It doesn't showcase the lust of the main character. Instead, the main theme is love and respect to the family. Even so, the story wouldn't work in our culture. Too much relationship ethic issues.

Audrey Niffernegger's The Time Traveller's Wife is the only book I wouldn't mind reading again and again, repeat it soon after I finish it, and backwards first (never tried it before but I think it might work seeing the story doesn't exactly work according to chronological order). Meeting a man for the first time as a child, not knowing she's destined to be with him but loving him all the same - that is pure! Clare kept herself only for Henry while patiently wait to be joined with him in 'present'. And she never stopped loving him after he's gone.

Can't say the same for Henry at first because well he is after all, a MAN. In his defense, he only met her when he was 36, she was 6. So his past never include Clare eventhough they first started dating when Henry was 28 and Clare was 20. Confusing yet? Watch the movie. Better yet, read the book.

Oh! oh! Another favourite love affairs - ALL HINDUSTAN MOVIES! Storyline and scripts, captivating. Actors, alluring. Ending, perfect! Not to forget a tint of wonderful songs and scenes. Love it! The best part of all, they value their god and religion. Respect their family and customs. And they put marriage (in reference to sex) at the purest place. Just like we Malays should do!

Dear Z,

Im going to let my best friends piss off, Im going to allow my close cousins roll their eyes, Im going to make my housemates smirk with their lopsided smile, best of all, Im going to let you know.

I've always thought its going to be you. I want it to be you. I still do.
But the rest is all up to you.

Here's to you. Maybe you can learn and serenade with this just like you did with Banana Pancakes?



[Oh oh! Remy kan R so tak boleh masuk J Fetish but he's actually a Z! Zalimie/Zalimei Ishak, Ill get the spelling right.]

Gila ke kalau dalam umur sekarang ni, dalam masa tak berapa-apa, I want to be married. Memang naluri manusia untuk hidup berpasangan. Dan setiap orang, kalau ada jodoh, maka adalah pasangannya. Satu sahaja masalahnya, I dont want a boyfriend. If there is going to be a relationship, I want it to be marriage.

Dua hari ni, dah habis 7 novel Melayu. Semua ceritakan kisah cinta membawa ke perkahwinan. The right kind of love, my type of love. Dalam 7 cerita itu, sempat titipkan 1 lagi kisah. Kisah cinta perkahwinan juga, tapi berulit airmata. Kisah cinta Natrah dan Mansor Adabi. Untung nasib mengemas bilik terjumpa artikel tulisan Aunty Fatini tentang Natrah untuk Dewan Masyarakat keluaran April dan Mei 1989.

Baru minggu lalu ke teater Natrah di Istana Budaya. Sungguhpun pementasan agak overated, tapi berkesan sedikit. Cukup untuk lakukan research sendiri, for me to know more. Nak baca biografi tulisan Aunty Fatini, belum keluar lagi. Jadi research melalui internet sajalah.

Dari artikel Dewan Masyarakat 1989, berjurai-jurai air mata. Pertama kerana hebatnya generasi dahulu menegakkan Islam. Dan kedua, kerana kesan kehilangan cinta dan harapan.

Cinta pertama seawal 13 tahun. Kemudian dipaksa dilepaskan, kesannya siapa tahu? Perkahwinan lain dan kehadiran zuriat mungkin mengubat. Tapi untuk sementara sahaja. Jika tidak, mengapa Natrah setelah puluhan tahun berlalu, bereaksi aneh setelah melihat Mansor Adabi melalui video? Saki-baki kasih masih ada, sentiasa ada.

Impak cinta. Puluhan tahun berlalu, masih terasa. Setelah melihat bekas suami elok berkeluarga, barulah harapan diputuskan. Realiti kehidupannya yang tidak bahagia memaksa diri melepaskan yang ada dan mencari yang tidak diketahui. Natrah mahu meninggalkan perkahwinan, tetapi bukan anak-anaknya.

Dari pemahamanku, mungkin anak-anaknya membahagiakan. Tapi ada lagi yang tidak mencukupi. Untuk kembali kepada bahagia yang dulu, apa lagi yang wujud? Mak Aminah sudah tiada. Mansor Adabi bukan lagi miliknya. Maka dengan itu Natrah cuba mencari bahagia dengan mengganti teman?

Wajarlah Natrah melalui gangguan tekanan perasaan. Di mana lagi harus sandarkan harapan apabila dia tempat untuk dia kembali? Satu sahaja persoalan. Di usia yang matang, sudah berakal, tiada tanggungan, kenapa Natrah tidak berharap dan bercinta dengan agama?

Dia pernah sayangkan Islam. Dia pernah menganut Kristian Katolik, tapi keduanya tidak diamalkan lagi. Mungkin Natrah keliru. Walaupun tanpa teman, sekurangnya dia ada pegangan. Faith is believing without evidence. If she have faith, she could at least save herself from her own misery

Kehidupan natrah mengecewakan. I dont blame her for the things that happened in her adolescence years. She didn't have any say then, There were too many deciding for her. But afterwards, she had years of chances to change her life to be better. Why didn't she take them?

Mungkin salah dia tidak mecari Tuhan dan agama. Mungkin salahnya pada bimbingan yang tiada. Atau mungkin salahnya sebagai ibu yang berkorban diri untuk anak-anaknya. Mungkin Natrah itu tidak wujud lagi. Mungkin yang ada hanya Mama untuk 10 anaknya.

Aku salahkan cinta. Cinta Natrah pada Islam yang dirampas. Cinta pada keluarga di Malaya yang sentiasa diingati. Cinta pada keluarga di Belanda yang tidak mahu dilepaskan. Cinta yang tidak tahu di mana harus disalurkan. Sebenarnya Natrah kehilangan. Dia kehilangan zaman kanak-kanaknya. Dia kehilangan kesenangan. Dia kehilangan harapan dan kasih sayang. Natrah hilang kebahagiaan.

Nadra binti Ma'arof, Huberdina Maria Hertogh, I pray for a better after life for you. You deserve your bahagia.

PS: Sila abaikan mode jiwang dan bahasa puitis. Salahkan novel-novel Melayu yang asyik ceritakan perihal nikah kahwin. Dan juga salahkan serendipity yang temukan kisah Natrah dan Mansor Adabi pada si hopeless romantic ini.

PS2: Abaikan hal nak kahwin tu juga. Banyak lagi hierarchy of needs yang perlu diselesaikan.

How do i say no when all i want to say is yes? How do i avoid you when my eyes is always looking for you? How do i create a gap between us when i want to be near you?

How do i stop myself from falling for you? How do i reject you when you always catch my attention? How am i suppose to be cautious when you always approach nearer?

How am i suppose to not want you when you keep getting closer? How do i know you're sincere? How do i know its not just another game for you, the player?

You're charming, you're cheeky, you're a tease. But you're also a flirt.

Be single already! Then things will be easy.

First and foremost, I WON THE TRIP TO SEACHANGE!!!!!!! Therefore, I'll be celebrating my 20th birthday on the 20th of November with strangers new friends! There are 500 of selected winners from various South East Asia country and I'm one of them! I'm representing Malaysia!!!!! Hell yeah! I can't wait to be there and meet ALL of them. Especially Nando Parrado. I think I'm going to cry when I see him. He's such an inspiration.

I've talked to Prof Ali to allow me to be excused from classes on the 18th and 19th, so that's sorted. I'm just hoping there will be no presentations or projects submissions on both dates. By going to the conference I'll be away from home for 3weeks straight. Record tuh! This weekend Im having MUET examination and treasure hunt. Next weekend I'll be in Pangkor for the class trip. And the other week is YES2009. Busy girl heh? Wish me luck people!

I heard Achik's and Kak Su's cat, Yahoo is dying of Chronic Renal Failure. Sedih laaaa. Walaupun Im not as close to this one compared to the other ones before, we still think them as family. Im praying for you baby.

What else??? Disebabkan tengah mengantuk tahap takleh nak buka mata yang secara semulajadinya memang dah sepet, tak tahulah nak tulis apa. Oh! I can update about Witwicky.

Let me tell you things you don't quite know about Witwicky. He has a girlfriend, he's a flirt, he's a sweet talker, he has a lot of admirers and one of them actually did something that made he and his girlfriend quarreled. While she was mad at him, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Great innit?

Well, obviously I want it but definitely not that way. If that happens with his current girlfriend, it can happen to me too. And he's just fooling around. So that didn't count. He's great at doing that, fooling around. With lots of girls. Countless! Lets put it this way, I'm just setting some ground rules. If he wants it to happen, he will work for it. And I'll think about it because clearly he's incapable of monogamy. I want a relationship that can last a lifetime. And I'm not easy.

By the way, I think he knows I like him. I am that obvious aren't I?

Chup! Orang super excited ni got the wrong info. Ill be at the SEAchange summit on 16th to 18th. Which means, semua kelas pun i tuang. Habislaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Tonight I want to talk about regrets, but in a positive point of view. I want to talk about the 15 people who made me feel, but not enough to make it happen. I can't name names because as I said, I don't know who is reading Serendipity and anything I write can be used against me. Therefore you're in luck! Its a story, a confession and a quiz. Lets start now!

I Don't Wanna Know - Mario Winans
At 15, first deep crush was a Pan Asian boy with fluent speech in English, good looks and was a tahfiz. Impressive I'd say. I was twinkling eyes every night telling Abah stories about him. 5 years later, we are only Facebook friends. He moved abroad and is now a DJ. Im just hoping in some way, he never left that tahfiz side of him.

Izinkan - VE
Sweet 16! I aint that sweet with curly bangs that curled up to form devil horns on my head. What's sweet was he thought I was cute. His preference for Chinese looks, sometimes Chinese girls and in my case - me. Its funny to be reminded that sometimes I caught him staring at me. He was weird. So weird that I distance myself from him. 4 years later, he's one of my closest friends. He's still weird but he cleaned up good. Got a great girlfriend too.

Bukan Diriku - Samsons
17 was crucial as I'm in my last year of school and unlike everybody else, my list of boys in my social networking is almost nil. Its expected that I will have no date for prom (as if Im allowed to go). He was a reality TV contestant with voice that melt hearts. I was a stalker then and was crushed when he got himself a 14 y-o girlfriend. Got to know him after school ended and boy was I glad I didn't get myself attached and lost to him. Yerp, lost as in you know. Pervert! 3 years later, he's one of my cousin's close friends. Ironic aint it? I still choose not to be in contact with him.

Officially Missing You - Tamia
Tall, thin, turquoise. That was my first impression. We both just finished SPM and school, its on a holiday trip when I met him. Not the first time though, we've met before but at 12 what's there to feel about? He was cute, but we didn;t instantly connect. It kinda take time. Maybe its meant for us to be platonic. After all, his parents have keen eyes for another. 3 years later, we are still great friends. He's the guy I wouldn't mind going out just the 2 of us. We go on movie dates occasionally, strictly platonic. I think its crossing over to the family line.

Love Today - Grace Kelly
Sometime later during working at PDI after school before uni, I was 18. This one I didnt notice happening. He was a friend! We usually go out by group which included his bestfriend the Sweet Sixteen guy. I didn't know by answering his calls every night means I might be interested in him too. Excuse me, let me rephrase that. I didn't know he was interested! We had a bit of cold shoulder for a while. But it got sorted by time. 2 years later, we're still friends. We still go out in groups together. We are still the ones who are single within the group. Nope, dating him never cross my mind. He's a friend! Have always seen him as nothing more than a friend.

Sayang Sayang - Alif Aziz
First semester in college! End of 2007, that would make me 18. Just turned 18. He was the guy I first noticed during registration (I thought he's gay but that's just me trying to not like him). He is good looking, the definition of tall, dark and handsome. Course of events lead us into the same group during orientation, classmates, same group of friends. Was really close to him that people around us thought we were dating. BUT he's taken since they both were 16. i did liked him. 2 years later, Im still here trying to finish of uni. He's barely there. Turns out he's not my type of guy anyways.

All Apologies - Nirvana
I was 19. Just hit the legal age. The start of it was the start of a lot of things. For one, it was the first time I pull an all-nighter. Sneaked out from dorm, late night movie and lepak until the gate opens the next morning. Liking him, I learned to accept a person pass the physical appearance. I liked him for who he was. I learned about accepting a person despite his ugly side and his past. And best of all I learned that I do have the ability to withhold my attention for solid 6 months. Well, I tried a few time but I always revert. I thought I have short attention span. He's definitely my type but its written we'll not share a path. Im glad I got to know him, you're a great friend. Because I remember your date clearly - 1 year 10 months and 15 days later, he's dating the best girl a guy could have. Take care of this one, she's the one God have been saving for you. Treat her right. I mean it!

Kau - Ello
This guy was just in the passing. I didn't know him well but I can feel him giving his attention to me. The second time we met was at a bazaar, we were helping our friends. When we went to lunch together, he offered his hand when we cross the streets, I pretended not to see it because I was too stunned to react. Then during lunch he carried food for me, offered to feed me some of his. He sent me home that night (I know! Not safe - 2nd time I met him). I did have a thing for a while but Im not sure about guys who treats all girls the same. Maybe he's a gentleman or maybe he's just too friendly with everyone. 1 year and 6 months later, we only contact through Facebook. Sad, I know. Well we were not from the same group of friends to begin with. I can't just barge in and hang out with them.

(Im sorry I dont think I have a song for you)
He's younger and eager and a big flirt. Will shamelessly talk about his marriage to me. God! Such a vain. Im not at all sure if he really likes me. See that's the thing about sweet talkers, you just don' know if he's fooling around or if he really is interested. I try not to care about this one because I seriously hate marriage talk. Face it, please have stability first to talk about marriage with a girl. Any girl. This boy is now studying in another state, he contacts me sometimes asking me out. I'll try not to think about that too. He needs to get into the friend zone first.

Creep - Radiohead
Hello cutie! You are definitely the definition of cute. Through you I learned that cute boys is just a preety face. You're empty for me to hold a conversation with. I like having you around though, you are fun to be with. Now that I know you better I realised that I never really like you. I like you because you're cute. Hahaha I miss hanging out with you. Its hard to see you around now that you've graduated. Stick friends koginavaan! (Kenapa tiba-tiba pakai kata ganti diri kedua? Salah format dah ni!)

Untitled - Maliq & D'Essentials
Uh oh. He's a sweet talker. Older, mature. Respected, well-known. Not available. Friends among friends. The one who got away? Did I mention he's taken? Sigh. I choose not to elaborate but he is the exact reason I should never get involve with a sweet talker. Its hard not to fall even though your conscience is telling no. Hmm, he's away now. In a different country, moving ahead with life =)

Scars - Papa Roach
Im sure you know who you are. And Im sure everyone around me can at least get the second guess correct. I wouldn't write much as you are paranoid of people talking bad about you. Not that I'm going to. And there's a whole post label for you anyways. There's even another blog. I don't mind ever getting to know you. I just regretted not getting to know you enough before. Oh well, past is past right? Lets look forward. Have a nice life! =)

Save Me - Remy Zero
He's another cutiepie who have always been there. I didn't paid much attention to him until we suddenly got closer. Oh wait I think I'll just point out things bout him. Not much thing to say. He's just a minor crush. Couldn't get pass that as he had dated 3 of my friends and currently dating another friend. He's a great help though. And a friend for all. I think he would make a better friend than a boyfriend.

Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh! The definition of ended before it started. Please refer to posts about Z and matters related to getting dumped, dooped, fooled, gamed, played. I don't know what happen to him. I stopped any contact altogether. May you have a future with the girl you are having a relationship despite I-don't-believe-in-relationships-because-it-will-lead-to-a-break-up. You know, you shouldn't have called me just to play your guitar and sing for me. Of course I think its a serenade!

Witwicky, I dont have a song for you yet. And Im not exactly sure if its going on or moving on. Me and my heart, we got issues. Hahahaha.

Footnote: Song titles may reflect the person's favourite song OR the song I relate to the person OR the song I dedicate to them OR the song that represent the situation. Confusing isn't it?

Fuh! Terbaek kan? Mcm drama melayu.

So you call your still awaken friends who are willing are forced to listen to you to wail out. Thanks ya, cwoo and ema.

And then you went out for ice-cream and wholesome laughing session. Thanks hakim, chaq and ken.

Later you come home and seek your girlfriends. Thanks sara, sofia and yana.

AND you slept in, skipped 2 morning classes because you know you can't sahur due to morning indigestion. Minum lagi carbonated drinks dah tau you can't stomach anything without having the after effects later on.

So yeah. The best thanks is definitely to Z.

For 6 months I've waited to see you giving that kind of attention, to confess those words. And 1 year later you finally did. Im just so damn glad it finally happen. Eventhough it's not with me, it happened! I finally get to see that side of you with a girl. And I especially love your choice. Perfect. I like seeing you and her, I can't help smiling ear to ear when you both are next to each other.

You guys are like oil and milk, so out of place but some how there's just something that clicked. Maybe its your attraction towards her, maybe its her shyness. I like being on the other side glancing at things that happen between you.

I feel like a mother looking out at her children. Hahahahahahaha loser tapi betul!
This time around, good luck good luck! =)