They say, the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

They also said don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.


* I love that song by Amylea. Her rendition on OIAM was superb.
** Saya rindu awak.

I went to an education fair to get information about going to NZ to pursue my degree earlier this evening. Went home, showed it to my parents (with the smallest hope that I can somehow be able to actually cross this out of my things to do list).

Someone just had to burst my bubble kan? Upon seeing the study fees and estimation of living expenses...its a NO.

Aih. Have always put my feet on the ground. Have always known. But stubbornly, have always been hoping. Still is.

I'll find a way to make it work somehow.

Cuba teka apa?

Sometimes when I'm bored late at night with internet connection at my finger tips, I stalk people on myspace. Especially schoolkids that I love to hate so much. Bagi pahala free kat mereka ni sebab aku dok mengutuk je kan. Dahtu they're hilarious wannabes. What was i to do?

So anyway, last night came across a comment. With pictures of Crocs Malindi. You should know by now that I'm currently saving up for a turquoise, size 8 Malindi because no one has yet given it to me despite my request for it as a birthday present. The girl left her phone number along with an advert saying she is selling those shoes at RM90 a piece! Hell of a bargain! Its actually Rm130.

I saved her phone number last night, and text her when I woke up this morning (trying not to sound too eager and failed to do so).

She still hasn't replied. I've been waiting for the past 3 hours! I think I should call her.

Dah cakap dah! I just cant. I have to write an article due on the 28th, only half a page, about anything I want. But the fact that I must write it, makes me cant write it. Get it? I've been staring at the screen for the past 4 hours doing nothing. Not exactly nothing, Im facebook-ing! Heh!

Ohh Im currently in Kuantan, going back tomorrow. Missed the ice-skating trip with friends but managed to get 2 jeans yg sangat best for RM10 each! One of it is a baby phat jeans. I looiike! Ohhh lagi satu. Aunty Lily brought out Mama's wedding garment from her closet. She said its collecting dust and wants us to bring it back. The garment is 21 years old and Im 20. Mama was 33 when she had it on. The point of the story is, despite trying so hard to hold my breath, suck my tummy and squeeze into it, I CANT FIT INTO IT!

There! Memang not gonna wear that for my wedding obviously! Not complaining by the way. Why are they so kurus back then? My grandma's kebaya tops from the 60's lagi laaa. Kecik yang amat.

Eh hello words, it seems you came out like fluid. Kenapa tadi aku nak tulis article taknak keluar?!

Setelah 6 bulan akhirnya dapat bermesra dengan Dila and Enor! Ni lah dulu tidur sekatil, mandi bersama, lari dari orang kene rasuk, share makanan, menyumpah orang yang sama. Hehe

We were dormmates, more like bedmates during the 1st semester. Thing is, semua different course. Enor-Physiotheraphy, Dila-Photography and Im in Communcation. Banyak beza. Tapi we connect. Bak kata Dila tiga2 xde benda sama langsung, tapi mata kitorang sama2 coklat! Hehehe. Had fun, eventhough kejap sangat.

Judgemental. I'll allow that kind of impression towards myself. I'm a person who always trust my first impression. If i don't like a person, then I don't. If later in life it so happens that person is my close friend, so be it. I still stand by my first impression.

I've always been proud of who I make friends with. Never the wrong person. Always the right kind of people. But everyone has their own dark side. Some develop it earlier (thus, I stayed away from them) and some turned ugly after I have befriended them. That can't be help. I didn't say I didn't try, but how can I help people who doesn't want to help themselves? Time wasting effort.

I make friends through friends. Whoever I am close to, I have another friend I should be thankful for. I don't know how to make friends on my own. I have trust issues. But thankfully, all the guy friends I have now, I trust them. With the condition, we are platonic. I would always prefer to have a guy as my friend than as an interest. Or as a friend first, then as an interest. It takes time to get to know a person, and by being friends first I would at least get a glimpse of him as a boyfriend, as a son, as a family person. The different sides of him. I want to take time before making a concrete relation to a person. I'm old fashion, live with it.

I made a decision of jumping into things once. And when everything is over, I see how things changed. How one thing changed a person. I know I shouldn't care, shouldn't bother. But compassion is in my nature and I feel obligated to help. I nearly got myself involve, again. Thank god, I have friends who made me come to my senses. Just when I thought the friends I cared too much for is simply a fun phase, they lend their shoulders to me. They reach out to me.

Its true, I never made the wrong friends. Just the wrong relationships.
And my first impression is always correct =)

I love learning about people's name and pet names. Because their name represent them and its a part of their personality. My mum said my friends have weird names. I can't argue with that. Their names might be eccentric and unsuitable but that's what make them different in their own way. We need diversity! Even in names. I have always have this talent of remembering names. Both full name and pet names because I have at least 70 cousins but I'm really bad with numbers. I'm weird like that. Anyways, here goes..

1. Cwoo: Muhd Fazrul Aziz
2. Andre: Muhd Abdul Razief
3. Payan: Muhammad Farhan
4. Ash: Abang Ashraf
5. Cepot: Saiful Anwar
6. Pakchaq: Muhammad Nizam
7. Punat: Khairul Anwar
8. Deklan: Ezran Shah
9. Ken: Redzman Ukun
10. Blur: Kamil Haziq
11. Louis: Saiful Azwan (not Cepot's brother)
    
12. Sayoq: Muhd Zuhaily Badlishah
13. Ann: Nabilla Fathee
14. Awin: Diana Nuzuin
15. Kecik: Nur Izrinda Izzaty
16. Phia: Sofia Zarith
17. Kiwie: Tun Nurul Ain
18. Kuyeh: Tengku Ahmad Faris
19. Milly: Iza Sharmila
20. Nana: Nur Al' Izzah Razanah
21. Ajis: Ahmad Fazli
22. Nik: Salhah
23. Chong: Rafiq
24. Emon: Nur Izzati
25. Ashley: Asliza
26. Rangga: Azmirul
27. Zack: Zuruel Haziq
28. Dida: Siti Nadirah
29. No'on: Nurul Atiqah
30. Mike: Ahmad Kamal Abu Bakar
    

Highlight the point in last post in which I said I managed to stay of gigs for the past 3months and keep my new year's resolution. Ha-ha! I broke it last Saturday.



Went to 1Cafe to meet up with Rauf and Ash. Kawan2 lama yg dah hebat. Heh! Kamek rindu nyaorg! Susah menar mok jumpa. At first lepak bawah je dengan Yana, Kuyeh and Rauf. Tak plan nak naik to gig pun sebab I don't want to spend money on ticket. Tapi Rauf nak naik, Kuyeh nak naik and he definitely will drag Yana in using his tag. I wasn't to be left alone downstairs. Asked Kuyeh to borrow anyone's tag to get inside. Yang dia seboleh-boleh suruh sneak in. Buat cuak je. Then Kuyeh bumped into his friend, who told him: boleh masuk pakai tag crew tapi kene mintak sebab aku baru je ambik untuk Rizan. Kuyeh yang terbaik dapat point besar nak mengacau memang emphasis gila2 kat nama tu.

Which makes me jumpy and shaky and DESPERATE to get in to the gig so that I could get away. We borrowed Eshut's tag (so actually, I didnt break my resolution) and got in. Masuk dalam terus carik Rauf and Ash. Comfort zone. Dah tenang dah. Tengok Prognosis Death perform, then had to get home for family dinner. Aha! Just the right timing, I was about to go home and he came up. Thank god he didn't saw me because I wouldn't know how to act. I seriously don't. I fled home.

All I can say to myself is, padan muka. Tuhan nak tunjuk. Dah buat janji dengan diri sendiri tanak pergi gig. Ambek kau, sekali pergi dapat apa yang tanak. But what the hell, got to spend time dengan Rauf and Ash, last skali jumpa at Milly's farewell on August. Yana and Kuyeh was great too. Lama tak bergaduh dengan si mata stim tu.

• I freak out everytime Livefeed tells me a reader just arrived from Puchong.
• I want to re-vemp colours for the blog.
• People dont care about me, I dont give a shit but I still care about them.
• I want to care less about other people. but when i do, i turned into a bitter person.
• Im almost always fierce to everyone now days, i need to have a neutralizer.
• I just accepted to join something but Im worried I wont even try to fit in.
• I need to stop procrastinating.
• Need to figure out financial solution regarding projek rahsia.
• I dont remember how feeling nice feels because I've been empty for a while.
• I need to be nicer to friends, its not they're fault they are annoying.
• I need to spend less on food.
• Don't know how to spend the week holiday.
• Need to find people outside the same circle.
• I have a flood in my toilet.
• And sumthing in my right eye.
• Im thinking of getting a haircut.
• By the end of the year, I will get my hair highlighted purple because tantiey has agreed to fund it.
• I'll worry about the extended families' reaction afterwards.
• I'll cover my head if Im not allowed in campus ground.
• So far, I've manage to stay off gigs for 3months.
• That's about the only new year resolution Im able to keep.
• I got 2 interviews for magazine articles that I haven't even start yet.
• I thought I can't live without Myspace, hey whadya know? I can!
• My initial FH may actually stands for False Hope. Ive been getting a lot of that.
• Im so looking forward to finish my diploma, start a new drama!
• Even at 20, I still filter who I make friends with.
• And yet i complain about having people from the same circle.
• Nak pergi bundle! And spend spend spend!
• Nak pergi Penang!!!! To spend spend spend!
• Nak balik Semenyih and Kuantan to stuff myself!
• Im annoyed that someone I dont want to be related to used the same concept of photo as profile pic. Apa lagi nak sama?
• Penatlah.
• Oh, this is new news. Not only my mum is reading my blog. My dad declared that he is also reading Serendipity and bookmarked it in his PC. Yay?
• I got over the issue of personal space invasion dah. That just wont work with parents.
• I can always make my blog private if I want to. But where's the fun in it?
• I'll find things to wank some more..

For Miss Adlene's Publication, Design & Layout class on Wednesday we were instructed to bring A3 size paper and colours. So without suspecting anything, we followed and came to class.

Dan kejutannya adalah, we were to design 3 different types of TYPOGRAPHY! Disco, traditional and natural.
Yezzaaa! Aku pulak memang hebat melukis ni kan? Buat straight line pun fail. The best part was, class starts at 2. we came at 2.30 AND had to hand in the assignment at 3.45. CHAMPION! Padan muka dilly-dally lagi.

Disebabkan kelas panas teramat sangat, i was sweating like mad. The surface to sketch on was too small and i was in a bad mood, i left class. Buat outside. Sorry yea kawan-kawan? I would prefer to be alone rather than snapping at you people. I sucked at drawing and a perfectionist in a weird way when it comes to art projects therefore I can't allow myself to be bothered by distraction. Dahlah panas, hati pun panas. Semak betul.

Anyways, here are some of the typographs. Agak kreatif jugak eh korang? Tapi sumpah kelakar tengok the boys trying to out do each other. Last2 bila colour dah smudge. Ramzi buat design nak hebat, tiru Arie. Bila sampai part warna bising pulak marah Arie sebab banyak sangat elements. Heh!

Mine! Although not very appealing, I like it!

These 2, Farah & Hana lagi perfectionist. Teliti sgt, they were the first to start and last to finish.

Sha did her soon to born baby's name. Comel kan?

Look at Cwoo's C!

Cwoo's statement: Ak ella! Nyesal aku buat C besar. Banyak pulak nak me-ngaler!

Kak Nora (you know who you are),
please know that I miss you so much!
Its been a while since we last update on each other.
As you said, it sucked to update urself just by reading my blog. Well its worse for me because i have no ways whatsoever to know about your going ons.

We need a teh tarik session to catch up on each other!
I hope u read this before I flood my blog with other posts during the holidays.

Take care, hope to see you soon! Miss you LOADS!

The badly needed holiday. Hwaaaaa walaupun sentiasa cuti pada hari Isnin for the past few weeks, Im deeply grateful for the semester break.

Since Abah had to attend his class and mamalang was in KL, the whole family lepak at Warisan. But I had other plans. Meet up with Kak Lina and Reza for a photo outing. Lepas rindu jenjalan BB dan naek tren. Bestnyaaa!!! Afterwards, went back to Kg.Warisan to catch up with the family. Sesi berkumpul untuk makan. Itu perkara biasa. Kak Long even prepared Yee Sang which the kids love so much because they are allowed to play with food.

By the way, colourless graffiti Rocks my socks!

The plague of the 25 random things list is circulating wildly in facebook, and I am now not only a narcissistic blogger. I am also a bona fide WANKER! Thanks kak sha! Because unlike other people..I wrote 50 instead of 25. Heh!

1. I dont eat mayo mixed with chilli sauce. Separately i do, not together. I just cant swallow it.

2. I dont eat fruits with nasi. Which means buah-buahan jadi jeruk, or masak dlm gulai, thanks but ill pass. Oh yeah, including rojak buah.

3. I still bite my nails.

4. I like the drug-addict look. Tall, thin, lanky. Visible collarbone and jawbone. And clean cut looking guys.

5. But it seems I got messy ones instead. Aih!

6. I use to be a tomboy.

7. I have no Chinese bloodline whatsoever.

8. I dont miss school that much.

9. Opticians told me Im blind.

10. I want to be able to drive legally, but I hate driving.

11. I dont work well with datelines and restrictions.

12. My guilty pleasure is Ayu by VE

13. I never wear skirts or dresses during high school years.

14. And now when I finally am, my mum is laughing at me.

15. I hate pink.

16. My grandma gave me a t-shirt saying 'i love pink' for my 17th birthday. Cynical.

17. I use to think wearing black is the greatest fashion sense. So i only wear black. Plus its slimmimg!

18. Now Im venturing to other colours.

19. I own only one pair of shoes/slippers/sandal at one time. i wear it everywhere.

20. I have an old fashion mindset. Its not exactly open.

21. I dont believe in courtship. Im not against it though.

22. As much as I like a guy, I dont make any effort.

23. My family is above all in everything.

24. Im a little on the big side, but I love my body. I like it as it is.

25. I want to be married in Semenyih.

26. I come from a family of readers and writers. We love books. At some point in their lives, both my parents wrote for something.

27. Sangat sangat sangat benci bila terkena lecak, selut, lopak air dan air yg menitik. Unless its my intention to do so.

28. Im a water person!

29. I love going to the cinemas to watch the latest movies too much that my dad banned me from doing it during my SPM year.

30. I like going to the movies alone sebab tak leceh.

31. Aside from the fact that Im a girl, I hate typical girl stereotypes like bersiap lewat. Its annoying.

32. I love making lists.

33. I don’t wear make up because when I do, somehow my hands will rub something off. Smudge my eyeliner or lick off my gloss. Mesti!

34. I have a temper. And I cant control it at home.

35. I want to make it into Cleo’s 25 under 25 list.

36. I love jazz, folk, acoustic and slow songs. Lagu2 mengurat.

37. I want to dye my hair purple. Someday I will!

38. Im jeans and t-shirt kinda girl sebab malas. It’s a blessing I found Phia, Yana and Sara sebab dorang pun camtu.

39. Im close to my best friend’s 3 recent ex-girlfriends. One is my cousin, one is my confidante and one is my legitimate girlfriend.

40. I think the simplest satisfaction is the feeling after I took a dump.

41. I hate flirts and sweet talkers.

42. I only get my menstrual once or twice a year. Im a mess, I know!

43. I don’t have an eyelid on my right eye.

44. I cant shop with my mum. Don’t have the patience.

45. Neni is the best shopping companion. She always chooses the best things!

46. My all time favourite movie is Tim Burton’s Edward Scissorhands starring who else, Johhny Depp!

47. Im attracted to quirky weird stuff and people who dares to be different.

48. I think toilets in Malaysia should install fans, I will in mine.

49. According to my friends, I ogle at girls more than I do at men.

50. Im feisty among close friends and housemates. But when im exhausted, i develop another personality. Very soft-spoken and super nice. They love me more when im tired.

Kenapa saya susah nak menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu sepenuhnya?
Kerana perkara kecil, kata ganti nama diri.

Tak tahu nak guna pakai yang mana!
Selama berkawan I have always used I and U.
Then start kenal Paden, dia yang first cakap aku-kau. Personally i dont like using aku kau sebab kasar. Then masuk college makin ramai kawan lelaki. I tried staying with I and U tapi macam out of place. So nak adapt, guna aku kau jugalah.

And I cant possibly use saya, awak. Sebab I only use it with special people. Or orang yang lebih tua out of respect. Among peers memang takkan adanya saya awak. Orang tertentu je.

And hello, takkan pakai kita awak? Tu memang salah penggunaan terus.

Today marks the 4th day of my diarrhea attack. And i am definitely pooping water. More like spraying poop. Penattttt!

Dan tadi saya telah ke klinik untuk mendapatkan rawatan. Doktor mencadangkan masuk air dan vitamin kerana saya telah dehidrated. Without thinking about her poking needle to my skin, i said yes. And it hurts! Dahlah masuk ubat. Pastu suruh makan liquid antibiotic which tastes urgh AND 9 various shapes, sizes and colours pills. Waah to top it of i have to swallow it with air garam. Thank you very much.

Kak Su and Achik sent me there, kesian they had to wait for the whole bottle to finish dripping slowly. So they went to the salon across the street. RM12 hairwash and blow? Gila murah! While getting the treatment, I read New Moon and text with friends. Tapi kawan2 tak reply msg and the story is soooo slow, plus its hard to read with a needle in one of my arm, so i doze off.

Bila bangun dah lah mamai, sekali dengar charges RM190, i was like what? Frikkin expensive! Gila betol. Suicidal charges. Risau dah, sure neni bising. Nasib baik kak Su tolong top up. Kalau tak, sure im left there xleh nak bayar. Hahahaha. Padan muka! Delay lagi pergi clinic. Kalau tak its not gonna be that expensive la kot kan?

Doctor gave me MC for today and tomorrow. Yay! Which means im staying here longer for the TLC. Tapi this is my second time I missed classes on Monday and Friday. Last week sakit mata. Elok sungguh. Apsal tahun berpenyakit eh? Dahlah raya haji haritu kene allergies. Bad year! Its unfair! I dont even like eating ox. This year should be a good one for me. Aih!