I told Lya i want someone (preferably male) who is always there for me.
Someone I can rely on. I want the relationship to be light and easy but
attached too. I dont want it to be label as a relationship. Faham-faham sendiri sudahlah. She suggests, a gay friend.

I hate relationship labels.
Scandal sounds like it is illegitimate. An affair.
On-the-way is self explanatory. It means the relationship is moving somewhere.
Boyfriend comes with complications.
Best friend is going to stay in the friend zone.

I dont want it to be labelled. I want it to be everything and nothing. I just want to be comfortable.

The last time I had it was with Afiq. Damn! That was the best of times. Our phone conversation is daily and continuous from the time we got back from school to the time we sleep. Kita berborak apa? Banyak betul bercakap.

After I left school, we kinda gone astrayed. Then there was Rauf. With him, its not the same. I tried replacing Afiq with Rauf but the lack of chemistry and effort results to nothing.

I want to have it again. Cumanya kali ni, if its heading somewhere..so be it!

The band Queen, is NOT from England! Freddy Mercury (the front man) originally is an Iranian named Farouk!

Explains the Islamic phrases in their lyrics.
Such as Bismillah in Bohemian Rhapsody.

Do not let that fool you.
Freddy Mercury was gay and die as a gay.

Footnote: Not a sexist remark.

Lepas ni saya nak penuhkan blog dengan gambar sampai serabut tengok macam blog-blog orang yang vain.

Nak taruk merata-rata. Kat kiri, atas chat box, bawah chat box, kat header, sebelah scrollbar, kat atas link, bawah link, in between post. Dan semestinya, tambah lagi dalam posts!

Seriously? Can anyone not get tired of her own face. Ever?

God!

Jap eh, untuk sesiapa yang tak faham.. THIS IS A POST FILLED WITH SARCASM.
Tak faham lagi? Ni post memerli.

I miss being the old me. The only person who know yourself the best is well, yours truly. I remember times when I was a nobody. A bummer, a sloth, a couch potato. For a whole year! My daily routine was to drown myself in cyberspace, literally. My social life was through myspace, ym and msn. Gila pathetic!

During that time I discovered blogging. I was very eager to discover something new. Among the places I explored were Tuesday With Bapak and Semusim Di Neraka. I’ve always been a reader. A junkie of words, and blogsphere opened a path for me. Its like free books with stories that never end. The best of times! I anticipate Mike’s writings everyday. Or every hour. He updates regularly. Lucky me! And ouh!!! Most prominent in my inspiration list. Of course its you Kak Sha.

And Aunty Ena’s Tuesday with Bapak along with her TWB chat room introduced me to a different type of people. People who are mature, older and are very welcoming. Though we have never met one another, I felt belong. Love them to bits! Aunty Ena, Aunty Ton, Aunty Shana, Uncle Med, I miss you people and our late night chat. Loads!

As for me, I was a newbie. I wanted all the attention I can get; I want to be noticed, except by my parents of course. Sad to say that failed. My mum got my url and recently, my dad too. Im not sure what I want to hide from them. I do like them reading my writings; I just don’t want them to discuss it. Pretend like they know nothing. There is nothing to hide anyways, Im such a blab mouth I will tell them everything eventually.

I no longer have a boyfriend, I don’t sneak out to go to gigs anymore, I rarely go out after midnight, I don’t wear revealing clothes, I don’t do things they won’t approve, movie outings is almost non-existent, hmmm what am I trying to conceal anyways?

Now I don’t mind much. I just need the privacy to escape somewhere to let my alter ego breathe. I am me, can’t change what you are. You can just filter. But Im tired of filtering, of trying to be concern of others, to not be offensive and hurt feelings. It can eat you up.
Therefore, in order to save mankind and myself.. I moved.

Such a long explanation for the change of url kan? Surely I will lose lots of reader (somewhat the intention) but I need my space to start fresh without leaving behind all those years of memories. Those writing are priceless! I need them to remind me how I’ve changed all these years; I need them to jog my memory on how I become what I am. I need them to tell me about one thing I should never stop studying, myself.

Semalam hari yang sangat teruk. Siang tak teruk sebab ke Pesta Buku dan dikelilingi oleh buku-buku. Sayu kerana dapat pulang dengan 6 sahaja. Malamnya yang teruk. Pulang ke Shah Alam dengan niat untuk ulangkaji Principle of Management. Tiga hari bercuti, tak sentuh buku langsung. Exam pula pukul 9 pagi.

Malangnya, malam itu jugalah nak kena selsema teruk. Bukan hidung sahaja yang berair. Air mata pun meleleh juga. Aih. Memang tak kan dapat belajar apa-apa bila dah macamtu.

Jadi, telan pil selsema dan KO, tidur sampai esok. Pukul 3.30 pagi, paksa diri bangun untuk menelaah sedikit. Dapat masuk sikit pun jadilah. Tak sampai sejam, mata mengantuk semula sebab kesan ubat tak habis lagi. Apa boleh buat, tidur ajalah.

Pagi ni alhamdulillah dapat buat. Sekadar yang termampu. Walaupun exam 3 jam, pukul 10.30 dah keluar dewan. Tak sanggup lama-lama tengok kertas soalan yang ayatnya sangat panjang dan tak membantu langsung. Apa yang dah dijawab, itulah yang dihantar.

Dan sekarang, dalam perpustakaan menikmati aircon sambil menunggu orang lain selesai. Luar terlalu panas! Tak ada rasa teringin untuk pulang ke rumah langsung sebab bahang dalam rumah sama dengan di luar. Aih kawan-kawan, cepatlah habis!

Notis: Maaf pada sesiapa yang mencari Serendipity di keanorlinsya2.blogspot. Kami telah berpindah. Jujurnya, saya tak berniat nak war-warkan url baru. Cuma bagi sesiapa yang bertanya, baru akan diberitahu. Untuk orang tertentu saya dah message.
Chup! Sebelum dipindahkan telah diberitahu melalui twitter? Bukan salah saya ya! Terima kasih kerana membaca dan masih mahu membaca.

But ada 3days gap, therefore balik rumah. Dan working part time as event crew for my dad. Book launch at the book fair.

Book fair weyh!!! Surrounded by books i guess its safe to say, its orgasmic!

Exam starts this Sunday. Haven't started on anything yet. Got a 3 day break before exam resumes on the 23rd. I'm spending it on my overdue Projek Meleret-leret. Dang it, mmg meleret pun. I knew the name brings bad sign. And then will finish all exam and the semester formally on 26th. Will wait for someone to finish his final presentation on the 27th. Hopefully! Been wanting to see him and his new look for the past 2 months.

Tapi tiap kali teringin dan berharap dapat jumpa, takkan dapat. Asek dengar dari orang lain je. Aih! And then will go back to Kuantan on the 30th. For a whole month! Habislaa extra gemok bila balik sini semula.

Hmm, finally got a note to seek treatment from a gynaecologist. Must find time before balik Kuantan. Kalau tak, 11 May ni genap setahun tak period. Champion!

Oh! Best part was;

Me: I haven't had my period for the past 11 months. Can you write a note for me to see a gynae?
Doctor: 11months? Dont worry, it will come.
Me: So I dont have to see a gynae?
Doc: Ok, if you want I can write a note for you.
Me: Right, thanks.

The doctor is not worried, Im not worried. So why are the rest of you so paranoid about my ovulation?

Again, im consumed by my own emotions that i can't control.

Therefore, since im having my exam. Im taking the chance to be away from blogsphere. Again.

I hate being late teens, early 20s. Umur baru nak kenal dunia. Kena belajar mematangkan diri tapi kanak2 dlm diri tu berperang nak kekal ada.

F1 x berapa nak best sebab hujan dan the race came to a halt after 32 laps.

Afterwards, jamiroquai terbaek! They were awesome! Bertahan perform ongoing for 2 hours. And Jay boogied nonstop. Which makes it hard for me to capture his photos. The opening acts was great too. Super cute atilia, maliq & d'essential and naturally 7. The bomb of goz j-kay.

Duduk seblah speaker, depan stage, bawah hujan, dalam lecak. Fuh! Bergegar beb! Sayang he didn't sang Virtual Insanity. Yang lain such as Love Foolsophy, Canned Heat, Space Cowboy, Cosmic Girl were superb rendition.

The experience of speed and sound of f1 cars was okay i guess. Laju sangat. X sempat snap gambar pun. The hefty price of ticket and food, not good!

Puas! Kene tukar title ni 'release stress seblom exam #4'

Taknak komen sekali?

Saya tau awak ada banyak benda nak cakap dekat saya. Tapi tiap kali awak tak cakap pun. Benda lain yang jadi. Saya pun malas la bila dah tersasar dari tujuan asal.

Saya benci confrontation. Tapi perlu confront dan2 tu untuk kasi masalah selesai. Sebab tu kalau ada problem saya nak settle terus, secepat mungkin. Kadang-kadang saya bagi orang tu cooling period. Tapi yang pasti saya tak suka tangguh, tak suka simpan lama-lama. Semakin lama semakin melarat. Lagi dipendam jadi lagi besar, makin parah.

Disebabkan hal ni dah lama sangat. Saya tolak tepi je. Tak larat nak tanggung dah. Buat sakit kepala fikir banyak sangat. Tak ke mana pun. Awak fikir lah nak settlekan macamana di tempat awak. Saya kat sini pilih avoidance. I dont want to compromise, i dont want to collaborate and i definitely dont want competition. Kita resolve sendiri2 je okay?

Heheheh i smiled like a fool, literally, when Ayah Sham called to tell me he got an extra ticket for me! Untung orang tak tahu malu booking awal-awal =)

Jadi esok saya akan ke Sepang to experience bunyi berdesing kereta. The real fast and furious. And afterwards, Jamiroquai!!!!

Kawan-kawan yang jaga booth makanan, kita kow tim yea?

Ohhh..bahagia kot dapat glads baru, dapat juga tgk J-kay tapi ASS-ignments menunggu. Demmit!

Ni Nana, she's back from Manchester for 3 weeks. We went out to get disastrous haircut on Monday.

Ni Funky Doryz, they performed for Shifty Mag launching.

Ni Yana, Hani, Ann and Ya who watched them performing.

NI kat depan van Ayaq, our fav transport seblom balik.

Rasanya nak mulakan label baru, the stories I've heard about me. Sebab macam best. Cerita-cerita yang sampai ke pengetahuan sangat amusing. Boleh dikategorikan dalam genre dramedy. Kita mula dari hujung semester lepas ye? Ketika saya lepaskan semuanya. Saya lepaskan perhubungan, kehidupan sosial, dan paling penting emosi.

Cerita pertama yang diterima adalah Hani ass kissing lecturer. Dah lepas geram, dah selesai.

Cerita kedua, kawan rapat pakai hasil kerja dan hantar sebagai assignment dia. Dah bincang, dah selesai.

Cerita ketiga, Hani sombong, dah berubah, dah lain, tak lepak selalu sebab bergaduh dengan Phia, Yana dan Sara. Penyelesaiannya, x payah layan. Malas. Nak explain pun malas.

Cerita keempat, Hani mengganggu hidup seseorang (Yang ini sampai dari mulut ke mulut sebab dunia terlalu kecil). Nak percaya atau tidak, lain cerita. Im laughing it off. Sebab ikut keadaan di tempat aku, its been months since I last saw, talk or made any effort to communicate with you.

Cerita kelima, (HOT sebab baru dapat kelmarin) setelah pasrah putus kasih, Hani couple dengan perempuan. Terbaeekk!!! Ya maybe hang kot sebab kita forever together. Ataupun you kot Yana, sejak you potong rambut ni ke kan? Atau mungkin, any of the Timah. Ada 13 orang. Mana-mana pun boleh. Yer lah, aku kan duduk serumah dengan perempuan. Ramai pulak tu. Kat dalam rumah tu entah apa lah jadi agaknya? Tidur sama-sama. Berkemban. Tukar baju pun depan each other. Logik agaknya, aku ni kan perempuan. X elok bergaul sesama perempuan.

Cerita keenam, dulu ada sorang pesan kat aku 'kerana mulut badan binasa' hmmm. Agaknya satu hal jadi isu besar sebab mulut siapa yang x boleh berhenti terbuka? Ulang tayang pada semua orang sampai kawan aku yang tak tahu cerita, tak masuk campur, tak kenal pun kau, kene sound sebab ambik side? Hey, belajar ye adat berkawan?

Seteruk mana aku benci orang, aku tak pernah larang kawan-kawan aku berkawan dengan orang yang aku x suka. Itu hak dia. Perli- perli tu adalah. Dan kalau kawan-kawan aku bergaduh, aku kawan je dgn dua-dua pihak. Itu hak aku. Aku bukan macam kau, jenis cari penyokong. Kalau kau betul, tak perlu pun penyokong. Dah ada pendengar pun cukup. Sebab yang sanggup mendengar tu namanya kawan.

Lepasni tolong jangan kirim salam kalau tak ikhlas.

Lelangit timbul atau tidak, dapat diketahui sendiri dengan menggunakan lidah anda. Cuba gunakan lidah anda, rasa dan alami sendiri. Boleh juga gunakan jari. Anda akan rasakan lekuk dan bahagian tengah yg timbul.

As for other people to know there are 2 ways:

1. For you to tell them
2. For them to tell you.

Pecahan bagi nombor 2.

• Mereka boleh nampak apabila anda mendongak.
• They use the same method you used on you.

Clarification: Andre used method 2.1. Dont get any ideas now! (Kak Lisha, this means you.)

I am not going to F1 to watch J-Kay. Or Atilia. Or Maliq & D'Essential. Because I have to babysit my brother. Therefore to console my heart I treat myself to a pair of gladiator. Teehee =)
Mengada kan? Dulu mana camni.. nak kasut bermacam jenis. Im happy with a pair of selipar Jepun or its snazzy name, flip flops.

Millie, Nana, Wanie, I blame you people. Sumpah lepas I kawan dengan korang baru I start menggedik nak berfesyen-fesyen. I was corrupted by you girls. But I love you all anyways! <3
Kenapa eh perempuan ada various names for shoes? I am 20 and Im not familiar with most of it. Yes, I am not an avid shoe collector but I am a disgrace for people like Rysa who loves shoes.

I only know heels, sneakers, flats, wedges, flops, sandals, platforms and boots. Just when I start to get acquainted to things like stilettos they developed new items like kitten heels, booties, wingtip shoes, apakah?? I know right!

Oh but darlings, I dont blame you for the skirts and dresses. Thats my alter ego taking over my body. Loves. <3