Reminiscent

10:21:00

I miss being the old me. The only person who know yourself the best is well, yours truly. I remember times when I was a nobody. A bummer, a sloth, a couch potato. For a whole year! My daily routine was to drown myself in cyberspace, literally. My social life was through myspace, ym and msn. Gila pathetic!

During that time I discovered blogging. I was very eager to discover something new. Among the places I explored were Tuesday With Bapak and Semusim Di Neraka. I’ve always been a reader. A junkie of words, and blogsphere opened a path for me. Its like free books with stories that never end. The best of times! I anticipate Mike’s writings everyday. Or every hour. He updates regularly. Lucky me! And ouh!!! Most prominent in my inspiration list. Of course its you Kak Sha.

And Aunty Ena’s Tuesday with Bapak along with her TWB chat room introduced me to a different type of people. People who are mature, older and are very welcoming. Though we have never met one another, I felt belong. Love them to bits! Aunty Ena, Aunty Ton, Aunty Shana, Uncle Med, I miss you people and our late night chat. Loads!

As for me, I was a newbie. I wanted all the attention I can get; I want to be noticed, except by my parents of course. Sad to say that failed. My mum got my url and recently, my dad too. Im not sure what I want to hide from them. I do like them reading my writings; I just don’t want them to discuss it. Pretend like they know nothing. There is nothing to hide anyways, Im such a blab mouth I will tell them everything eventually.

I no longer have a boyfriend, I don’t sneak out to go to gigs anymore, I rarely go out after midnight, I don’t wear revealing clothes, I don’t do things they won’t approve, movie outings is almost non-existent, hmmm what am I trying to conceal anyways?

Now I don’t mind much. I just need the privacy to escape somewhere to let my alter ego breathe. I am me, can’t change what you are. You can just filter. But Im tired of filtering, of trying to be concern of others, to not be offensive and hurt feelings. It can eat you up.
Therefore, in order to save mankind and myself.. I moved.

Such a long explanation for the change of url kan? Surely I will lose lots of reader (somewhat the intention) but I need my space to start fresh without leaving behind all those years of memories. Those writing are priceless! I need them to remind me how I’ve changed all these years; I need them to jog my memory on how I become what I am. I need them to tell me about one thing I should never stop studying, myself.

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