Its a growing lump and a gapping hole at the same time


Semalam pergi tonton Natrah di Istana Budaya dengan Shaffiq, Lya, Nelly and Liyana. I was okay when it started. I was fine when it ended. I was jumpy when we waited for Remy. I was uncertain when we were deciding where to eat. I was queasy in the car. I was unsure at OldTown. I was chatty while they eat. I was quiet in the car ride home. I was lonely.

I enjoyed the company. I really did. Its just that seeing Lya with Nelly, and Liyana makes me miss Millie and Nana so much. So much that I don't feel good inside. They were laughing, sharing inside jokes, camwhoring, just having fun with each other. Its not that i don't like them. I do, they're easy to get along with. They're fun. Its just that I miss having that of my own.

I haven't seen Nana since the last time she went back in April. And she wont be back until next Easter. 1 whole year of not seeing her. And both of us have been busy so we haven't had our regular phone calls since forever. Not much email or even FB. Its hard. I understand you're busy. Its just that I miss you so much.

As for Millie, thank god she'll be back in a week. And thank god Im on my semester break. More time to lepak with kesayangan. Milly comes back regularly, and we do keep contact through Skype, emails and FB. So its not as bad. But next year, I have to brace myself. She wont be back for summer as she's doing her job placement there. And InsyaAllah, I might not be here end of next year when she's back.

They both wont be here next year. I might not be here too.

Sometimes, there comes a time when I really need someone to hold on to. Most of the time Im fine by myself. Im capable of being independent. But sometimes, at times like this. When Im feeling lonely, when I need someone to crumble to, it helps if there is someone there. Someone to be my pillar.

I miss us. Sangat-sangat.

See how bad I miss you? Sampai I tak tertulis review Natrah. And the level of Remy's hotness sehingga he gave us Remygasm. Har har! Seriously, Remy next to Johnny...I tak nampak Johnny dah.

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  1. sweet.if only it was still US.but we need to face reality that its not and I can't and won't go back there. but i love you and cant wait to c u baybeh!



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