I borrowed this. Some strike straight to the heart.

Jika tiada rezeki anak,
mungkin diberikan rezeki mertua yang baik.
Maka kita lebih bahagia dari anak yang liar.

Jika tiada rezeki wang ringgit,
mungkin diberikan rezeki kesihatan.
Maka kita lebih bahagia dari kerisauan menjaga harta dunia.

Jika tiada rezeki kereta mewah,
mungkin diberikan rezeki kenderaan yang jarang menimbulkan masalah.
Maka kita lebih bahagia dari membayar kerosakan yang mahal.

Jika tiada rezeki rumah yang besar,
mungkin diberikan rezeki makanan yang tidak pernah putus.
Maka kita lebih bahagia dari si gelandangan.

Jika tiada rezeki pasangan yang cantik,
mungkin diberikan rezeki pasangan yang baik dan pandai menguruskan rumahtangga.
Maka kita lebih bahagia kerana hidup berteman dan terjaga segala.

Jika tiada rezeki jodoh,
mungkin diberikan rezeki umur ibu bapa yang panjang.
Maka kita lebih bahagia dapat berbakti sepenuhnya pada orang tua.

Jika tiada rezeki hari ini,
mungkin ada rezeki yang lebih baik pada esok hari.
Maka kita lebih bahagia kerana rezeki yang tidak dijangka.

Probably Allah has saved a better guy for you. Kita tak tau. Maybe you'll meet him next year, maybe in ten years, maybe twenty, but eventually you will. In the mean time Allah spoils you with rezeki in another form yang orang lain tak dapat. You quit your job, senang dapat kerja lain. Your career is progressing. Some people can't get a job at all.

I think I need help.

It's only been a few days. But already I'm noticing that I might have a small hole somewhere in my heart. Not literally! I have been unhappy. There I said it.

True something happened. But I resolved it. Well, I think I resolved it. Cukuplah buat masa sekarang untuk terima jawapan yang dah diberi. Will not think too much about it. Not wholly trusting, but accepting.

I don't know why. I suddenly have this longing feeling. Of what I dont know. Its a feeling that stays through out the day and linger at night. Kenapa? Withdrawal ke? Is it because I've continuously been surrounded by many family members for a week? Am I missing the kemeriahan? What is it?

I can't point it out. Everyday I wake up, go to work, surrounded by colleagues, do my job. Try my best to deliver. I see work related people at Open Houses, go to meetings, spent time after work with colleagues. Do all the things I usually do. But that feeling stays!

I try to live everyday as normal as I can. No one will actually say I look bothered or sad. Because I'm not feeling miserable. I'm just unhappy.

And its tough to share because I dont know what is making me unhappy!!!

OK. I'm annoyed.

Of late I realised I prefer to be a bit more reclusive than the extrovert that I am. Dah penat being surrounded by stupid people who talk without thinking. I am temperamental, I am easily angered. Jadi sebelum I accidentally on purpose shoot down tell off orang tak pasal-pasal, I'll just shut myself out.

Keep negativities out and just be happy within my circle. That does not mean I don't owe people apologies. To all that I have hurt and wronged unintentionally, forgive me. And for those that took offence from what I said and did, my sincere apologies.

Lets start over and just spread love.
Dunia tak lama dah. Masa tak panjang nak breed hatred and then try to make amends. Maka lebih eloklah kita tak sediakan ruang untuk perasaan tak best. Kalau wujud jugak, maybe you should just leave the person. Seriously.

Forgive, be forgiven and stay away.

* * * * * * * * *

Enough about that! Marilah kita menikmati keriuhan dan kekecohan ABCB di White House, Pekan, Pahang. (And also my shameless promotion through ootd shots)

When I first started work, I had bad sense of dressing. It was that transition from the carefree college girl to a corporate woman. But actually inside, (even now) Im just a tomboy in my own comfortable skin.

My dad, saw this as an alarming sign. So one night during our usual supper date he told me "each month, keep aside some money for you to buy clothes. Allocate some for your wardrobe. You need to dress better". I didn't had enough then. So there wasn't much for me to work on.

Now, I gotta say Alhamdulillah. I may not be drop dead gorgeous but can laaaa hide that tomboy when needed. Thank you for your advice Abah! But I didn't know that I will be (almost) addicted to buying things I look pretty in. Girls..

Disclaimer: this post appeared to sooth my guilt for impulsively purchasing a super cantik pants that I dont actually need but totally have fallen in love with.

I have many girlfriends.
Some within the same gang.
Some solo.
Some from school.
Some from college.
Many from university.
Some from work.
Some, have the same blood running in our veins.

All these girls, I see them as those I am close to. People I care about. Those I make effort to be at their weddings, to help, to assist.

But I don't know how many will do the same for me.
How many will come to my house the day before, to run errands.
To be at home and assume the role of my sisters that I never had.

There's too many for me to ask to be my Dulang Girls/Bridesmaids when come the time. So I come up with a plan. Instead of having my girls to be my dutiful dulang girls and bridesmaids, maybe...just maybe - I should get their husbands to do it instead.

If I am important enough to your (pregnant) wife, you will be willing to be my best man. Or they will arm twist you to do it. Only then I will know who values me kan?