And so, the cute looking one didn't stay long. Let me rephrase that, i didn't stay long. I end up still holding on to him. 2 months and 10 days. That long. I wont deny, i've had days that i wanted to give up on waiting, partly because I didn't exactly try. partly because i don't think he is worth trying. But hey, anyone that manages to keep me interested must be something. Something great.

He makes me laugh, every time. Comfortable and secure, maybe. Im thoroughly confuse. I dont know what I want. I really do like him, but I don't think im ready for a relationship. I dont want to be in a relationship. Im perfectly happy in the position I am now. When the guys offer me a ride to eat, i went along. Wherever they go, i go. No restriction from anyone. No one romantically linked, no interference, no problems. Easy.

Easy? Maybe not. Boys will be boys. And I am still a girl among the boys. When one of them finds out, the rest follows. Mentioning it on the table is a norm, teasing me about it until i blush is a game. Keeping it cool is impossible for me. Even if i put on a straight face, i blush 3 shades of red. And that didnt help. In the end, why bother to deny it? They already know long before but they never guessed its me. As for him, he knows. I've told him.

Its been 2days since i told him i like him. And we are? Still strictly platonic. Much to my preference. I have a theory on myself. I fall easily, and i fall hard. Just as easy as i fall for someone, its even easier for me to fall out on him. According to my friend Elle, its the chase. We go for the chase, we are allowed to like the guy but as soon as he knows, we'll lose interest. And....that didn't happen this time.

I have liked this person for 3months. Give or take. Which is a record for myself, and a shock too. I didn't realise i have the ability to sustain my likeness towards him that long. Especially since he looks nothing like what i prefer which is Chinese looking, or act like a boyfriend material AND he refuse to speak English! Great isn't it? And still, i fall for him.

Somehow, even after i told him i like him, i still like him. but i don't give hope because i think i have always known that we cant be more than friends who hang out in a group. Believe me, we've tried. At least i tried, we cant carry a conversation between ourselves. We just cant. Nothing verbal comes out, we will be doing our own things, no connection, no chemistry.

Thank god for the other cute looking one! Who i got to know through him because they're classmates. Talk about being greedy! Well, as i have always said keep options open and if it happens, it happens!