Be a devotee to DevoTee

www.myspace.com/devotee_millie

Hey, if u have any upcoming events needing another booth, dont forget to invite DevoTee. We're interested. Thx!

It was raining outside, astro is not working, im bored with all the internet networking websites.
So, I decided to screen my comment on friendster. My very first account. (then come myspace, bebo, tagged, multiply, facebox, facebook...segala neka)

Anyhow, I was reading my old testimonials, membaca kata-kata pujian dari teman-teman persekolahan. It was....overwhelming.
Kids at the age of 14 were kissing up each others' asses. Trying to make friends or as much friends before discovering identity of themselves.
Ahhhh sweet, bitter memories.

My testys (as we called it; vulgarity pun intended) all mentioned almost same things.

Farah Hani;
cute;
loud;
fair giler melebih cina;
i thought she was chinese;
takde muka Malay langsong;
banyak cakap;
non-stop talking;
laughs a LOT;
sume gossip tahu;
her eyes make her look garang;
bila marah macam nak makan orang;
sweet;
bubbly;
short;
chubby;
always smiling;
petite;
smart;
great friend;
cool 60's hair;
movie manic;
cute;
comel;
good listener;
brings the best food;
good in English;
a secret keeper;
best buddy;
cheerful;
cool;
understanding;
hearty eater;
funny;
friendly;
adorable;

3 years since those testys, 100 of love yous, 79 of friends forever, 84 of cute and fair, I am still the same person they described me. Well almost the same I think. Of all the testimonials. I cherished one the most.

• Helloy!!!hehehe...teruk tul abg Wuu ni
  kan!!!sampai kecik2 mata si Farah ni..:-)
  Bkn apa,utk Farah mmg di'reserve'kan
  sikit,sbb nk tulis pjg2...hihi...Amacam,ok
  tak alasan i??heheh...So hows ur
  fasting??mesti mkn lagi byk kan??hihi..
  Kecik2 dulu suka mkn udang,skrg ni
  suka mkn apa yek??
  ~testi laa pulak~...:-)Hmm...i still
  remember Farah as the cutest,
  "comel"est baby in the world...Skrg dh jd
  awekz!!hehe..Kecik2 dh independent,
  friendly...I think she's a sensitive person,
  but hiding it behind the character!!!(am i
  rite??)..She's smart,intelligent type and
  happening at the same time...(tu yg
  mahal tu)..a social person...Girl,make
  use of ur ability....I wud love & wudnt b
  surprised 2 c her cruising her life
  successfully in the future..Miss ya a lot!!!

This was sent from cousin who is currently studying in Aussie. I guess he described me perfectly maybe because he have seen me growing up. From a baby the size of my dad's palm to an adolesence the size of Dr.Bailey. Thanks Abang Uu.

I've not been a good friend for sometime now.
To everyone.
I tend to snap easily, and lose my temper more than usual.

I need a scape goat. I blame work.

I'm having 4 problems:
1) A friend became distant and awkward towards me. I'm really sorry, i tend to act weird when its face-to-face contact.
2) My best friend didn't receive her bday wish (which was a big deal for her)
3) My bestest friend/cousin gotta straight in her face volcano lava, yes from me.
4) I lost myself.

Eventhough these things are bothering me so bad, i just don't feel like sorting it out.
I'm tired...of trying to please.
Just know that when I dont make an effort...it means u need to get over it.

Guys, thousand apologies, i don't even bother bout explaining myself.
I'm just gonna accept the blame.
Its so easy to be hurtful but so hard to forgive.
Since I'm the one hurting others, i apologise.
I'm tired of trying so hard pleasing others, being there for others, caring to much bout them that i end up forgetting myself.
Working gives me time out from others and i needed that.
I don't have to hear his and her side of the story and play the middle person.
I don't need to listen to a person's whine.

Its my turn to whine.
My turn to let out my feeling and for others to console me.
My time.