Write honestly, but don't hurt others with your words.

I don't know how to do that anymore. Jadi all these pictures are my lame excuses of an expression. Im not the type that express through things that are non-verbal. Like photography, painting, dance, music. That's not me. I need to write what I can't speak. 

But its hard. THIS is hard. For one, I've never actually say it out loud. So how am I suppose to start now? I'm not good at asking for things that I want. Yang paling I nak, yang tu yang paling akan disimpan. Orang yang paling I rindu, yang tu yang paling tak akan diberitahu. I hate rejections. So I almost always keep things to myself and observe. Kemudian overthink.

And I repeat the same process over and over again.

Just updated my status on FB - rasa tercabar dengan penulisan Tangsue. She's gooooood! If she's not my twin, Ill be damn jealous and will always stalk her just so I can trash talk her behind her back. Hah! Melayu much? Im suppose to be doing work for Promotional Writing which involves designing, editing and creating the adverts for our product. DIEDED! I'm not even an art person. Seriously, waktu-waktu begini amat memerlukan khidmat Ken dan Andre. Sia-sia je download Photoscape, pastu tak reti pakai jugak. I need to come up with an ad that looks like this, I've been using Paint. Old school kan?

Sengaja sidetrack kan diri because I just woke up, started a bit of work, feel inferior, therefore blog. Konon-konon polishing my skills. Oh, I need to tell the going ons here in Penang. I have lost my title as Mak Tiri, and also my credibility to be garang as perceived by others. I am friends with people who are mighty cute and manja max. So naturally, they brought out the manja-ness in me too. I was SO NOT manja okay. And I am terrified when people realise that I am manja with them. If I am manja, it means I have opened up a little bit too much to you. And I definitely have opened up a lot to the girls here. I can't be that attach. >.<

I told Millie about it and her theory is that I've always been manja but I never show it. And I've always been surrounded by boys in college therefore its my defence mechanism to be garang. Furthermore, I am one of the boys there kan. Gila kau nak jadi manja, gedik, mengada dengan diorang? Kena lempang laju-laju tak pasal je. Now that I am with people who are so rajin to melayan perangai mengada-ngada, manja-ness UNLEASHED!

Seriously, almost everyone here melayan kalau I whine (hello, Hani whine? unheard of!) or pretend merajuk Yonkey, Tangsue, Grobuela, Diamond, Mini, Muncheekins, Ciara, Mas, Pumpum, Dieyla, Cip, Ieda, Emy, Aienul, Shidah, semua kot! Melayan je. And they themselves are like that too. So full of love. Can't stop yourself from loving them instantly. And we all sweet talk / flirt with each other. Comel tak? Like this morning, I came into class and  got a text message: Cantik outfit harini!

I'm the sort who loves giving out hugs and its so so fun to know that every time, I will receive one myself. Munchee is not exactly one who is used to getting hugs, and now she is. Perangai semua rub off to each other. Hey girls, don't use this against me preaseee!

 Diamond, Ciara, Grobuela, Tangsue, me, Mini (matilah korang nak dapat nama betul!)

Top to bottom: Ieda Kiring, Ainul Kibam, Yonkey, Muncheekins.

Nak blog emo post pulak okay? Dah hujung sem ni, kenapa kerja tak sudah jugak lagi? I still have 4 presentations to prepare. 1 of them is for internship, and another is for Promotional Writing group project which we will present during study week, mind you! And i still have 1 individual assignment to hand in after my presentation. Oh Suhrawardi, you are interesting. But I can't date you anymore. You are exhausting! And I will need to crack my head open to fully understand you.

I must remind myself. STAY AWAY FROM PHILOSOPHERS WITH NAMES THAT STARTS WITH S. I've had Socrates, and now Suhrawardi. Both menyakitkan otak. Im still in love with philosophy though. Can't deny that.

To end this semester, I got 3 eventful outings planned.

• To go to Hadnyai on 9th of April.
• Fake tourist trip to Penang War Museum with my happy pills.
• Nom nom trip with Dr. Shu, my Promotional Writing course lecturer. We sort of offered ourselves in her class when she said she don't know where to take people out when they visit Penang.

What else? I can't wait for exam to finish on 29th April. I will fly back to KL straight, and hope that I will be just in time for ABCB's family day. Oh! Here are some pictures of my first gig after 3 years. 3 tahun! Can you believe it? This is from Rock4Rights at Fort Cornwallis, Penang. Im going to say it here - put it on the record, I am now a fan of Car Crash Hearts and An Honest Mistake.

Now for the emo part. Should God decide that I am able to leave here and be there, I will need to leave on the same night of Abang E's wedding in Kuantan, or the very next day. Because that's the only choice I have. To be able to stay and be there with my family as well as for my big brother. To take this positively, I will have everyone in one place. Sempat jumpa semua. Negatively, I will take away the attention. Perasan much? Okay. Lets say I will be gone on the day after the wedding. Nanti takde orang hantar. Sebab semua kat Kuantan. Hwaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Pastu tak boleh jumpa sampai tahun depan. Dahlah raya sorang-sorang.

OKAY STOP IT! Over thinking already. You've been doing it a lot now a days Farah Hani. Nah pin, pop your own bubble. Eh jap, last nak nag. I want baju kaftan warna lilac to wear on Abang E's wedding! Help?

touch a penguin

ride a giraffe

hug a panda

* * * * * * *

I have expected this postcard to arrive well before it was bought. Boleh tak? Hehehehehe. And that was written in it as well. Lama tunggu okay. Exactly a week! I checked my mailbox every time I pass it after the first 3 days. Rupanya it extended 4 days more. So its finally here! And I'm happy! Nyaaaaaaaaa (n.n)

Another sort of 'letter' came through my Gmail. I got an internship! Finally! I am among the last person to get a confirmation. Dr. Shu must have been relieved. I was the one holding her back to proceed with everyone's internship process. Maaf bagi semua pelajar tahun dua Pusat Pengajian Komunikasi.

InsyaAllah I will start my internship at Bates141 Malaysia mid May. I already confirmed with them that I will join them until July. Sexcited! Balik KL nak check what's the fastest and easiest way to get to the office at Mid Valley City tanpa perlu menyusahkan Abah.

Now, the only letter I hope I can receive is news about my scholarship. InsyaAllah.
And I'll have wider grin, sweeter smile then. =)