For a dearest friend of mine:

It the truth is not helping you out, cry.

If crying still doesn't help, then lie.

Eventually you'll believe the lies you tell yourself.

Dan semangat untuk semua:

Kalau kau pernah takut mati, sama

Kalau kau pernah patah hati, aku juga iya
Dan sering kali
Sial datang dan pergi
Tanpa permisi
Kepadamu

Suasana hati

Tak peduli

Kalau kau kejar mimpimu salute!

Kalau kau ingin berhenti
Ingat ntuk mulai lagi
http://www.free-lyrics.org/16329-Letto.html
Tetap semangat
Dan teguhkan hati
Di setiap hari
Sampai nanti
Sampai mati

Kadang memang
Cinta yang terbagi
Karena memang
Seringkali mimpi tak terpenuhi
Seringkali

Tetap melangkah
Dan keraskan hati
Di setiap hari
Sampai nanti sampai mati

- Sampai nanti, sampai mati; Letto

Waktu penat dan sangat stress untuk kita semua. We'll make it. Paling kurang, we have each other. This is the post about strength. About having it, giving it and sharing it. Sebulan lagi. Kita sehabis boleh yea?

I think I dah masuk phase dengar lagu dan relate. Over tak? Current earworm:

• Jesse McCartney - Just So You Know
• Jessica Simpson - With You
• Jason Mraz - You and I
• Sheila on 7 - Pemuja Rahasia
• Letto - Sampai Nanti, Sampai Mati
• Matt Weddle - Hey Ya
• SS501 - Be Nice To Me Please
• A.P.I. - Pelita
• All Maher Zain's songs

Cerita tentang diri sendiri.

• Tercalon. Alhamdulillah. Ini bakal jadi satu alasan untuk hadirkan diri upacara sebulan lagi.
• Konsert Maher Zain, minggu depan. With Abah. I'm all smiles.
• The best bit? Going home. After 5 weeks.
• Seminggu lagi. Tahankan.
• Saya penat! Nak mandi hujan. Atau air sungai, atau air terjun. Apa-apalah. Asalkan air. Elemen saya air.

I realised I haven't talk about you much lately.

Kita pun makin jauh. Separuh sebab kerana I mahu dijarakkan.

Separuh lagi mungkin sebab kenyataan.

Since someone dropped by directly at a posting about you last night, I want to feed an update.

Its a wonder that a person came to Serendipity specifically to that almost 2 month old post about you. Am I suppose to be suspicious about this?

Maybe. But I don't want to think too much about this. Don't want to put hopes up again.

Truth is, I made myself stop thinking about you.

Truth is, I am forcing myself to.

Truth is, I'm not even sure if you have a clue.

Stay the way you are. Kita terlalu sama.

Kita taknak buang masa pada yang tak pasti.

Kita mahu persiapkan diri sebelum mengecapi.

Kita diamkan diri bila ia perihal hati.

Mungkin sekarang bukan masa untuk kita.

Mungkin yang datang untuk kita adalah nanti.

Sampai waktu itu, selagi mampu, aku di sini.

I need a drive. A nudge, or a push. Something to jump start me. Only then I can get things done.

I miss home. I miss being Fa. Kind of tired being Hani. People don't know me well enough here. Only those who call me Fa know me very well. And I need them near.

I need boys, because I am one of the boys. I don't need any particular boy, I just need to be surrounded by boys. I need their immaturities, their dumb dirty jokes, their harsh language, their stench of smoke. I need them as entertainment. Its so hard to find that here. Its so hard to join them boys, because they are school kids. Maaflah kalau macam mengata, tapi the boys here are either juvenile or kampung. Literally. They either just got out from school or just got out from home. Either way, belum kenal dunia lagi.

I don't know who I belong with. I know its me to lompat-lompat in different cliques, but I don't know who I should turn to when I need someone. I meant here. Someone in physical presence. As of now I juggle between Cassie, Mas, Masz, SueAnne, April, Lii Jing and Ain. Bersepah kan? I don't see anything wrong about sharing with a lot of people. But isn't it better to have one particular person as your safe spot. Your comfort zone. Someone you can come back to, like home.

Speaking of home, a new friend, Wilson told me that to cure homesick-ness is simple. Find a person here that I will miss more than home. Simple to say right? So hard to find one! The market segmentation for prospective primary-person-to-miss is almost nil. Well, ALMOST nil. And then comes the harder part. To get the person to miss you too. It has to work both ways. Alaa sama je. I'll end up missing home anyways. Its tough to find the Ben Mah to Wei Liek. They're like the Romeo and Juliet here. Hehehe so comel.

I need to write this too. Because I don't know who reads Serendipity and I got more random readers now.. (but I might know some because I see people coming from Facebook, and a lot came from Penang, which means we go to school together) I should tell you that don't assume I don't get along with people. I love the people I hang out with. And I cherish every friendship that I made. That's point 1.

Point 2. In no manner was I dissing any boy I met here. If I can't click with them, the fault is mine. Dan bukan semua adalah seperti yang dinyatakan ok? Ada yang boleh get along juga. Cuma tak ramai. Nak tulis ratio pun macam kesian.

Point 3. Screw it. Think what you want to think. Assume what ever makes you happy. Its our nature to make judgments. I can't stop you. But please, if you want to talk bad about me, find your own people. Don't go making up stories about me to my friends. I've had enough drama at the old place. I don't need it here too.

I'm sorry. I'm at a bad place now. I've exceed my personal expiration duration away from home. That's 3 weeks. Don't know if I'm able to tahan until week 5. Two more weeks. Chait! Konon-konon dulu ada hati cakap akan balik sebulan sekali je.

I can be your pillar, your strength, your support.

You can lean on me. But who do I turn to when I need to be you?

Eat.Pray.Love.

Im not gonna post up spoilers here, ramai pulak benci aku nanti kan? Semalam kat twitter dah kene complain sebab banyak sangat details movie Magika and Revenge of King Cobra. Jadi, yang ni takkan dikeluarkan langsung.

Except, how I plan my to live my life in 3 places doing 3 main activities just like Julia/Liz did.

Eat

I can't decide where to spend 3-4 months for the main purpose of eating. People choose Rome or France usually because of their wine, I'm not interested and I can't. Japan makanan mentah. Memang suka, tapi lama-lama hambar lah kan. Oh oh!!! Korea! I've been watching 2days 1night for so long. Beautiful place. The food looks good! Mostly seafood and Korean have spicy food too. I can survive there. Plus there's KPop and entertaining game shows. Ohhh KHJ too! Saranghae!

Pray

Obviously as a Muslim, I nak jadi Tetamu Allah juga. 4 months, mungkin tak cukup. But I would really love to experience the serenity, the calmness, the heat, the feeling of being blessed. I want it all. I feel jealous of my friends and relatives who have had the chance to go there. Makkah and Madinah, our holy city. I'll visit you. InsyaAllah.

Love

To love, find love, be in love, or celebrate love, I want to go to Greece. The place where the term philo or love begins. I wasn't a fan of Greece before. Until I saw Kak Iziana's honeymoon pictures. And then watch the magnificent view through Sisterhood of Travelling Pants. Sigh! Awesomenyaaaa! 4 months there please!

How can you not want to live in Greece? Hari-hari boleh cliff diving!

Eversince masuk USM, banyak benda berubah. Satu in particular, I write more in Malay now. Sebab assignments harian dalam Bahasa Melayu. Bergaul dengan orang yang kuat jiwa Melayu. Artikel dan bahan bacaan ratanya bahasa Melayu. My Engrish is now lusty. Not lusty, rusty. Get it?

Anyway, cerita tentang nafsu. Sekarang ni nafsu makan kuat gila okay! Tak tahu lah sebab nak period ke kan? Tapi my theory is because I stopped myself from having nafsu for attention from him, my nafsu makan bertambah. Or maybe it emotional eating. Entah. Berkait mungkin.

Every Thursday, I will have classes from 11am to 5pm. Usually after the 5pm class I will go out with friends to QB Mall to eat. See? Makan lagi. Totally BKM. Lagipun I ada small goal. Nak try makan kat semua kedai yag halal kat QB tu.

Semalam still the same routine. With random people. I suka kan? Main join je mana-mana random cliques yang I can fit in. Went with Ain, Niza and Nor and had early dinner at Manhattan Fish Market. First time try setelah berapa lama nak try. Biasa je rupanya. Harga sama Chillis. Baik makan Chillis. Then we split up. Nor and I joined the girls from KUIS (Ainul, Emy, Shida, and Ieda) for movies.

Haaaa cerita lagi pasal nafsu. Tapi nafsu Ieda lah. We actually came to watch Magika (which was awesome btw!) but she was influenced by the others to watch Cobra something, a Thai film. Dan aku sebagai kaki wayang pun terjebak 2 movie. The movie sucked. I tweet the whole time. Sampai orang sume bengang because I gave the spoilers.

Seriously, jangan tengok. But go watch Magika. I suka! Unless you don't like musicals. Then don't.

Hmm.. Malam ni nak tengok Eat.Pray.Love pulak. Pulun Hani pulun! Assignments jangan tak buat.